Sickipedia: 30% Genius, 70% Duplicate.
28th October 2008- the day Sickipedia lost the plot. Apparently you are no longer allowed to vote certain peoples jokes down if you think they are unfunny without a barrage of abuse. A sad day.
ItchyAnus, bleary, MICK THE MAG, ReigatePen, fucking quality, thanks.
28th October 2008- the day Sickipedia lost the plot. Apparently you are no longer allowed to vote certain peoples jokes down if you think they are unfunny without a barrage of abuse. A sad day.
ItchyAnus, bleary, MICK THE MAG, ReigatePen, fucking quality, thanks.
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staffer has a score of 16732 at the moment.
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The best of staffer's 205 jokes (View All)
| I was in the pub last night when the barman asked me, "How come I never see you in here with Pete any more?" I asked him, "Would you drink with a bloke who's a liar, always late, borrows money he never pays back, always tries to squirm out of his round, jealous of everything you have, and when your back is turned he tries to fuck your wife and daughter?" "Bloody hell! No!" he said, somewhat flabbergasted. "Well, neither would Pete," I added. |    |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged liar , wife , daughter , drink , jealous , borrows - Current Score: 467 - Added: 1 month, 24 days ago
| A survey has shown that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Smoking - Tagged smoking , causes , statistics - Current Score: 401 - Added: 2 months, 15 days ago
| I've just read joke 57704 on Sickipedia by The Wolf: 'Muslim extremists commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins. I just go down the local primary school.' You obviously don't live in Liverpool then? | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged muslim , virgin , paradise , joke , liverpool - Current Score: 340 - Added: 1 month, 18 days ago
| When I was a kid my budgie died, so my mum went out and bought an identical replacement, hoping I wouldn't realise. But I did and I killed that one too. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged budgie , killed , replacement , identical - Current Score: 312 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| My mate has just been sent to prison for six months, he pulled three people out of a burning building. Unfortunately it turned out they were firefighters. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Prison - Tagged prison , six , firemen , hero , burning - Current Score: 253 - Added: 2 months, 5 days ago
| I broke into and robbed a large shop in Ireland last week. I nearly got caught, the police had covered all the exits, so I escaped through the entrance. | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged entrance , robbed , frank carson , exit , escape , robbery , irish , ireland - Current Score: 249 - Added: 1 month, 11 days ago
| I find nothing is quite so annoying as having someone carry on talking while you're trying to interrupt. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > None - Tagged interupt , annoying , talking - Current Score: 249 - Added: 1 month, 12 days ago
| Apparently these are real answers from Quiz programs. BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er. . . Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . . Contestant: Blimey? BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. White: I'll give you some clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm. White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're . .? Contestant: Strong. White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis. White: Well, there we are then. So, who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra? LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS) Alex Trelinski: What's the capital of Italy? Contestant: France. Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris. BEACON RADIO, (Wolverhampton) DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish? GWR FM, (Bristol) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then. LINCOLNSHIRE FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Q: What is the world's largest continent? A: The Pacific RICHARD AND JUDY (C4)) Presenter: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? Contestant: Er. . . Presenter: He makes bread. . . Contestant: Err... Presenter: He makes cakes . . Contestant: Kipling Street? BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1) Chris Moyles: Which 's' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes? Contestant: Ummm. . . Moyles: It begins with 's' and rhymes with 'perm'. Contestant: Shark. JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three? CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL) Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er . . . Mexico? PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE) Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No. STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (RADIO 2) Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play? Contestant: Jesus NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ? Contestant: Jelly. THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2) Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'j' is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway? QUIZMANIA (ITV) Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with T. Contestant: Doctor. Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango. Contestant: Oh, (pause) Doctor. BIG QUIZ (LBC) Gary King: Name the funny men who once entertained kings and queens at court. Contestant: Lepers. TALKSPORT Andy Townsend: How many wheels does a tricycle have? Caller: Two. Townsend: The Beatles were known as the Fab...? Caller: Five. MAGIC 52 (NORTH-EAST ENGLAND) Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated? Contestant: Erm... Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964. Contestant: 1965? FAMILY FORTUNES. Presenter : Name a bird with a long neck? Contestant : Naomi Campbell Presenter : Name a dangerous race? Contestant :The Arabs Presenter : Name something that's red? Contestant : My Nan's Cardigan | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Nigger - Tagged how bizzare , quiz , stupid , idiot - Current Score: 245 - Added: 1 month, 9 days ago
| I saw my neighbour in the garden digging. I asked, "what are you up to mate?" He replied, "I'm going to dig a really deep hole, fill it with water and have a bucket we can send down to get the water if ever we need it." I thought, "I'll leave him to it,...... he means well..." | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Wordplay - Tagged neighbour , digging , hole , well - Current Score: 235 - Added: 1 month, 16 days ago
| I was getting nowhere chatting up this very attractive posh-looking bird the other night, so I asked her, “Do you always give blokes such a hard time? I mean, have you ever slept with anyone before?” “That's my business!” she snapped back at me. “Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realise,” I responded. “How much?” | |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Bird - Tagged business , posh , attractive , sex , prostitute - Current Score: 228 - Added: 1 month, 23 days ago
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