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The best of superhorse's 60 jokes (View All)
| A man staying at a hotel removed a card offering sexual services from a nearby phone box. Back in his hotel room he rang the number and a woman with a silky soft voice asked if she could be of assistance. "Yes" he said. "I'd like a doggie in bondage gear, leather, PVC, whips, the lot. And then some hardcore spanking, rounded off with a blow job. What do you think?" The woman said, "That sounds really good and I'd like to oblige, but if you press 9 first you'll get an outside line." |    |
Joke by superhorse, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged hooker , prostitute , bondage , spanking , hotel - Current Score: 256 - Added: 10 months ago
| A man walks into a pet shop, puts a bomb on the counter and says, "You've got one minute to get out of here before the place blows!" A tortoise in the back shouts, "You bastard!" | |
Joke by superhorse, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged pet shop , tortoise , bomb , bastard - Current Score: 167 - Added: 6 months, 11 days ago
| Finding her young son scooping ice cream in the kitchen, a mother raged, "Dinner is going to be ready soon. Put that ice cream away and go and play." "But mum" wailed the child, "There's no one to play with." "OK," said the mother wearily, "I'll play with you. What do you want to play?" "Lets play mummy and daddy. You go upstairs and lie on the bed." So the mother went upstairs and lay on the bed. The boy put on his father's fishing hat, lit up one of his cigars, went upstairs and opened the bedroom door. Seeing him standing there, the mother asked,"Now what do I do?" The boy answered, "Get your ass out of bed you whore and fix that kid some fucking ice cream!" | |
Joke by superhorse, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kid , mother , whore , ice cream - Current Score: 159 - Added: 1 year ago
| What's the difference between a hedgehog and a bus full of united supporters? The hedgehog's got the pricks on the outside. | |
Joke by superhorse, in Jokes with no home > Football - Tagged united , hedgehog - Current Score: 139 - Added: 1 year ago
| A woman sent her clothing to a Chinese laundry, but when it came back there were still stains on her panties. So the following week she enclosed a note saying, 'use more soap on panties.' The next day when she picked up her next lot of laundry there was a note on it saying, 'use more paper on arse.' | |
Joke by superhorse, in Jokes with no home > China - Tagged woman , laundry , chinese - Current Score: 137 - Added: 10 months ago
| A woman was at home one afternoon when she heard a knock at the door. She answered it and it was a man who said "Do you have a vagina?" She screamed and slammed the door in his face. The next day she heard another knock on the door and when she opened it the same man said "Do you have a vagina?" So she slammed the door in his face again. She told her husband about this and they came up with an idea. The husband decided to take the day off work and if the man knocked on the door his wife would keep the man talking so that he could be confronted. Sure enough the next day there was a knock on the door and the same man said "Do you have a vagina?" "Yes I do" replied the woman. "Good" said the man "Then tell your husband to stop fucking my wife" | |
Joke by superhorse, in Sex and shit > Vagina - Tagged vagina , husband , work , adultery - Current Score: 111 - Added: 1 year ago
| What do white athletes and policeman have in common? They both spend most of their life running after black people. [From Alan Partridge] | |
Joke by superhorse, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged black , athlete , police - Current Score: 98 - Added: 5 months, 27 days ago
| A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, ''You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?'' The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. ''One day,'' he begins, ''I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.'' ''No shit?'' says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued. ''Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.''' ''Keep going!'' I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, ''You now have three wishes.'' I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, ''I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger.'' She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, ''What will be your second wish?'' ''What next?'' begged the bartender. I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, ''I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.'' She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours! Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, ''You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?'' I looked at her and replied, ''How 'bout a little head?'' | |
Joke by superhorse, in Jokes with no home > genie - Tagged genie , sex , head , muscular - Current Score: 80 - Added: 1 year ago
| An Irishman was having sex with a Jewish girl. He said, "You're not very tight for a Jewish girl." She replied, "You're not very thick for an Irishman." | |
Joke by superhorse, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged 2008 - Current Score: 72 - Added: 10 months ago
| How do you keep a blonde busy for 24 hours? Scroll down Scroll up | |
Joke by superhorse, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged blond , stupid , busy - Current Score: 68 - Added: 10 months ago
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