tanz_kid has a score of 79 at the moment.
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The best of tanz_kid's 5 jokes (View All)
| My 92 year old grandmother has been waiting on the NHS waiting list for an operation for over a year. Honestly, it's unbelievable, she has been waiting for a YEAR for this operation. That is appaling. That's just not acceptable, particularly for a woman of her age. I've even said to her, "Nan, could you not just live without bigger boobs?" |    |
Joke by tanz_kid, in Sex and shit > Old - Tagged old , boobs , granny , grandmother , boob , plastic surgery , jahi - Current Score: 11 - Added: 6 months, 30 days ago
| An old man just had a heart transplant and was getting instructions from his doctor. He was placed on a strict diet, denied tobacco and alcohol, and advised to get at least eight hours sleep a night. "What about my sex life?" asked the old man "Will it be all right for me to have intercourse?" "Only with your wife," said the doctor. "We don't want you to get too excited." | |
Joke by tanz_kid, in Sex and shit > Old - Tagged old , man , old man , sex , wife , heart , heart transplant , doctor - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 week ago
| A husband comes home from church one Sunday and immediately greats his wife, lifts her up and carries her around the house. His wife is so surprised and asks, "did the priest teach about being romantic today?" To which the husband replies, "no, he said we must carry our burdens and sorrows." | |
Joke by tanz_kid, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged husband , wife , sex , religious , church , priest - Current Score: 10 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" the bartender asked. "That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!" | |
Joke by tanz_kid, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged drunk , kiss , cheating , cold , car , sex , beer , bar , alcohol - Current Score: 6 - Added: 7 months, 5 days ago
| It was Spring in the Old West. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that had survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot- I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want." The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, "okay. First, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger and, finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding." The rattlesnake said, "alright, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes." The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted... "Oh My God... I was riding the MARE! | |
Joke by tanz_kid, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged horse , cock , beastiality , mare , arnold , schwarzenegger - Current Score: -4 - Added: 3 months, 29 days ago
Custurd spent 0.08ms doing 11 queries and -0.02s processing. She's 0.27% angry.
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