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tokem0n's Statistics

User Level: User
Contribution Points: 2 Total Joke Score: 1,937
Country: New zealand NZ Total Time Active: 51 minutes
Total Jokes Submitted: 21 Live Jokes: 18
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 3 Duplicate Jokes: 3


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The best of tokem0n's 18 jokes (View All)
I was driving to work today and saw a woman driving down the road with her hazard lights on.

At least she's honest.
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Joke by tokem0n in Sex and shit - Women (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 week ago - Current Score: 607.8

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, "Nothing would make me happier than diamond earrings."

So I got her nothing.
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Joke by tokem0n which requires categorising - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 358.2

Why have no women ever been sent to the moon?

It doesn't need cleaning yet.
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Joke by tokem0n in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 300.6

An Englishman is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You English folk eat the whole bread?"

Englishman (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we coll [...]

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Joke by tokem0n in Racism - French - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 160.2

Why can't women go skiing?

Coz there's no ski slope between the bedroom and the kitchen.
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Joke by tokem0n in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 122.4

I'm not racist. I love black people. I think every house should have one. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by tokem0n in Racism - Pakistani - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 115

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other ones a watermelon.
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Joke by tokem0n in Other - Baby - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 55

A guy dies and goes to the gates of heaven where he meets God. God says to him, "I have looked at your book of life and you are welcome in heaven under one condition."

The man said, "Yes, God. And what is that condition?"

God says, "You must spell the word: love."

The man spells the word and God lets him into heaven.

As the man walks in, God tells the man to watch the gate until he returns, and reminds him [...]

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Joke by tokem0n in Religion - Heaven - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 45

A man is looking in the classified ads for a job. He notices an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman and figured that couldn't be such a bad job. So, he calls in, he goes in and they hire him. The next day, he heads out to a neighbourhood to make some sales. Five hours later he comes home and says, “Man, I only sold one toothbrush. That's not enough”

So the next day he goes to a richer neighbourhood, thinking maybe those people would buy more toothbrushes. He ends up sellin [...]

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Joke by tokem0n in Other - ??? General - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 41

Why can't you get charged for raping a police woman?

Because you're inside the law!
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Joke by tokem0n in Crime - Rape - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 30

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