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The best of tokem0n's 18 jokes (View All)An Englishman is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You English folk eat the whole bread?"
Englishman (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the English." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The Englishman listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread?"
Englishman: "Yes."
Frenchman: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the British."
The Englishman then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.
Englishman: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
Englishman: "We don't. In England, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to France." |  |
I see all these racist jokes and they make me sick! I love niggers!!
I think every white man should own at least a dozen! |  |
Why don't women need to know how to ski?
Theres no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen. |  |
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other ones a watermelon. |  |
A man is looking in the classified ads for a job. He notices an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman and figured that couldn't be such a bad job. So, he calls in, he goes in and they hire him. The next day, he heads out to a neighbourhood to make some sales. Five hours later he comes home and says, “Man, I only sold one toothbrush. That's not enough”
So the next day he goes to a richer neighbourhood, thinking maybe those people would buy more toothbrushes. He ends up selling two toothbrushes. So he goes to his boss for advice and his boss says, “Look, you're a great guy and all, but you gotta come up with a gimmick or something.”
So, the salesman thinks about it and, later that night, he finally comes up with one.
So the next day, he sets up a booth near the subway with a sign that says “Free chips and dip” A guy walks over and puts the chip in the dip and says, “This tastes like shit.”
And the salesman replied, “Yeah, it is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?” |  |
A guy dies and goes to the gates of heaven where he meets God. God says to him, "I have looked at your book of life and you are welcome in heaven under one condition."
The man said, "Yes, God. And what is that condition?"
God says, "You must spell the word: love."
The man spells the word and God lets him into heaven.
As the man walks in, God tells the man to watch the gate until he returns, and reminds him that he must ask whoever comes to spell the word.
After a short period of time, the man's wife shows up at the gate.
"What are you doing here?" he asks her.
"Well," she snorts, "on the way home from the funeral, there was an accident and I died."
"Alright, but before you enter heaven you have to spell one word," he told her.
"What word is that?" she asks.
"Czechoslovakia," he says. |  |
There are 3 niggers sitting in a car. Who's driving?
The cop. |  |
Why can't you get charged for raping a police woman?
Because you're inside the law! |  |
Why have no women ever been sent to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning yet. |  |
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a gorilla?
A really stupid gorilla. |  |
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