just here to prove i`m not the only sick bastard in the world with no subject being taboo
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tony.t has a score of 428 at the moment.
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The best of tony.t's 14 jokes (View All)
| I told the wife i was going to get her diamonds for Christmas she said nothing would please her more,so I'm getting her nothing instead |    |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged gift , joke , cunt , all , twats , fuck all , slag , bitch , whore , everything - Current Score: 77 - Added: 10 months ago
| A judge asks a surly defendant if he has anything to say for himself. The defendant mutters, "fuck all." "What did you say?" asks the judge. The court clerk turns to the judge and says, "the defendant said, 'fuck all', your honour." "Really?" replies the judge, "I could have sworn I saw his lips move." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Jokes with no home > Court - Tagged court , without a home , judge , swearing , cunt , fuckers , lawyers , all , twats , legal - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year ago
| My wife and her friend were having a conversation about how useless men are when my wife said, ".... they can`t do two things at once..." At this I interrupted and said, "Actually I can" "Give me an example," she said. "Well while I was fucking you last night I was thinking about your friend." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged shagging , fucking , wife , husband , sex , pedo , family , bitch , whore , prossie - Current Score: 58 - Added: 1 year ago
| Christmas dinner at the McCanns. Gerry asks the twins who wants stuffing ,one turns to the other and say its at times like this i really miss maddie | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Madeleine McCann - Tagged sex and shit , abuse , death , maddie , cunts , pedo , kidnap , fucking , xmas , christmas - Current Score: 47 - Added: 10 months ago
| Little Jenny the chav stands on a chair watching her mom do the washing up. "Mommy," little Jenny asks, "are your hands soft and gentle and smooth because you have them in soapy water?" Her mother smiles and says, "no, sweetheart, it's because I'm thirteen." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged soft , hands , washing - Current Score: 17 - Added: 10 months ago
| When asked why she had taken three days to report being raped, the witness said she would not have made the allegation had the cheque not bounced. | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , sex , misogony , prostitute - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year ago
| Kate Moss and Jeremy Clarkson are at a celebrity do. She says "I'm a model, what do you do?" He replies "I do Top Gear." She said "Wicked! I'll have an eighth." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Kate Moss - Tagged death , fucked , smackheads , cunts , a listers , z listers , junkies , tv , all , drugs - Current Score: 13 - Added: 10 months ago
| Teacher asks the class to go home and come back Monday with a story that has a moral to it. Come Monday morning the teacher asks for anyone with a story to put their hand up. Little Johnny's hand is first up but the teacher ignores him and points to Jane and says "Tell us your story, Jane" "Well miss I went to my nan's farm and in the morning I collected all the eggs in a basket. When i got into the house some had broken, the moral to the story being don't gather all your eggs in one basket" "Very good" teacher says. Little Johnny is turning red with frustration but the teacher asks David for his story. "Well miss, I to went to my nanny's and when i got there she had a toy soldier i had been waiting for for weeks,the moral being good things come to those who wait" "Very good" teacher says. She knows Johnny isn't going to give up so she lets him tell his story. "Well miss I like the others went to my Grandad's and he told me that he was a desert rat in the war and he got lost and was surrounded by 15 Germans. He only had 6 bullets, his bayonet and a bottle of whiskey, so he drank the whiskey, shot 6 Germans and bayoneted the rest to death. At this Johnny sat down and teacher asks "What is the moral to your story, Johnny?" Johnny jumps up and says "The moral is don't fuck with my grandad when he's pissed". | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Little Johnny - Tagged germans , war , death , fighting , krauts , cunts , fuckers , pricks , morals , all , sex and shit - Current Score: 11 - Added: 10 months ago
| What's the difference between the White House and a toilet? When you get a thick shit stuck in the toilet, you can call a plumber; when you get one in the White House, you have to call it Mr. President. | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > George Bush - Tagged thick shit , bush , white house , plumber - Current Score: 10 - Added: 10 months ago
| In a recent interview Lisa Marie Presley was asked why she had divorced Michael Jackson? "Well," she replied "I knew it was over when I told him I wanted to have kids and he said he already had." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged sick , all , community , michael jackson , jacko , peadophile - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 year ago
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