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tw2361 has a score of 1652 at the moment.
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The best of tw2361's 27 jokes (View All)
| Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache and glasses, I think, 'there's a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.' |    |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Not Sure - Tagged beard , moustache , photograph , carey marx , edinburgh fringe - Current Score: 173 - Added: 1 week ago
| What is the difference between an Essex girl and a Cadbury's creme egg? The creme egg is more expensive to lick out | |
Joke by tw2361, in Sex and shit > Essex Girls - Tagged essex girls , creme egg - Current Score: 156 - Added: 2 months ago
| They say being a hostage is difficult... ...But I could do that with my hands tied behind my back. | |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged hostage , hands , tied - Current Score: 117 - Added: 1 month ago
| My hot water heater's packed up, so I had to fill the bath using a kettle and a load of saucepans... ...it was fucking uncomfortable when I got in. | |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged water heater , kettle , bath - Current Score: 113 - Added: 1 month ago
| My mum was a ventriloquist and she was always throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my dad. | |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged ventriliquist , mom , dad - Current Score: 112 - Added: 2 months ago
| It's great to see the Chinese setting records in something other than the number of people executed. | |
Joke by tw2361, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged china , execution - Current Score: 100 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| I said to my wife, 'when I die, I'd like to die having sex.' She said, 'at least we know it'll be quick.' | |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged death , sex - Current Score: 95 - Added: 2 months ago
| You know somethings wrong, when you double the value of your car everytime you fill the tank. | |
Joke by tw2361, in Celebrity and news events > Petrol Prices - Tagged petrol prices , car , tw2361 - Current Score: 92 - Added: 1 month ago
| I'm colour blind but I don't let it affect my life... ...Last night I went to see 'Joseph and His amazing Brown Coat'. | |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Colour Blind - Tagged colour blind , tim vine - Current Score: 85 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| I took my nan out the other week, I couldn't believe what she was saying: "What are you doing here, go back to Africa, go back to India." Everyone was looking at us. I said, "Nan, it's a Zoo." | |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged nan , zoo , harry hill , hooves , animals - Current Score: 85 - Added: 1 month ago
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