| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 59 | Total Joke Score: | 1,342 |
| Country: |
United kingdom 
|
Total Time Active: | 13 hours, 10 minutes |
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 34 | Live Jokes: | 16 |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 18 | Duplicate Jokes: | 0 |
Send underscore a message
Add to favourites.
The best of underscore's 16 jokes (View All)
|
I'm getting quite concerned about what my kids are hearing in the playground. This morning I caught my daughter imitating sex acts with her Barbie and Ken dolls. I told her, "You'll end up with little baby dolls if you keep doing that." She replied, "Don't worry, Dad. He's doing her up the shitter!" |
 
|
Joke by underscore in Sex and shit - Kids - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
- Current Score: 511.2
|
I'd just moved into my new house and got talking to this fit blonde who I noticed standing in the garden next door. She told me she was busy painting and I offered to help while she went down to the shop to get more supplies.
When she was gone, I took the opportunity to raid her knicker drawers (like you fuckin' wouldn't) and found loads of saucy underwear, a huge dildo, anal beads and all sorts of pleasurable gadgets. I couldn't resist a lick, sniff and a quick wank. I [...] |
|
Joke by underscore in Sex and shit - Masturbation - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
- Current Score: 301.6
| I've always wondered what it would be like to star in my own zombie movie, so I went down to my local old peoples home, stole all the wheel chairs and walking aids, then set the fire alarm off and waited outside with a shovel and a cricket bat. |
|
Joke by underscore in Other - Old People - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
- Current Score: 230.2
| I was having the most amazing tit wank off Angelina Jolie earlier... until I got kicked out of Madame Tussauds for defiling the models. |
|
Joke by underscore in Sex and shit - Masturbation - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
- Current Score: 52.2
|
Have you ever noticed that when you pull your balls up over your cock it looks like a little elephant? Neither had I... until my Grandad showed me. |
|
Joke by underscore in Sex and shit - Testicle - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
- Current Score: 52
|
The wife was giving me a fucking lecture on how honesty is the best policy yesterday. It was at that moment my daughter came in crying her eyes out. "What's wrong, sweetie?" asked my wife. "I'm being bullied" she replied in tears. "It wouldn't be because you're fat, ugly and smell of shit, would it?" I added truthfully. I just can't win... |
|
Joke by underscore which requires categorising - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
- Current Score: 42
|
My fiance is always dropping hints about wanting a big diamond in her ring. So I bought her a jewel encrusted butt plug. |
|
Joke by underscore in Sex and shit - Anal - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
- Current Score: 36.2
|
I've just been released from hospital after doing something really stupid on bonfire night... That's the last time I light my girlfriends tampon string as a joke... |
|
Joke by underscore in Sex and shit - Period - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
- Current Score: 34
|
My mate gave me a black eye last night... I really wish he'd stop bringing me back souvenirs when he goes out decapitating niggers. |
|
Joke by underscore in Racism - Black - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
- Current Score: 20.2
|
My girlfriend is from India and she gets very upset when things like "Paki!" and "Fuck off back to the slums you scabby curry felcher!" get shouted in the street when we're out. But I just can't help myself. |
|
Joke by underscore which requires categorising - Added: 1 month, 25 days ago
- Current Score: 16.2
BUY OUR SICKIPEDIA BOOK. Grab the UK edition from Amazon.co.uk.
Page load time: 0.68s (Startup: 0.08s, Controller: 0.03s, Template: 0.57s)
Sickipedia v3.1 - a
cr3ative media
® project. © 2005 - 2010
Rob Manuel