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The best of willlovescars's 7 jokes (View All)
| An Old priest lay dying in hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of London. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" she said. "I would really like to see Tony Blair and Gordon Brown before I die," whispered the preist "I'll see what I can do, Father," said the nurse. The nurse sent the request to the House of Commons and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived that Tony and Gordon would be delighted to meet the priest. As they went to the hospital, Gordon commented to Tony: "I don't know why the old priest would want to meet us, but it certainly might help our images and even get me elected for Prime Minister for another term. Tony agreed that it was a very good especially if they got press coverage. When they arrived at the hospital bed the old priest took Gordan's hand in his right hand and Tony's Hand in his left. There was a silence and the look of serenity on the priest face. Finally Gordon spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen why choose us to be with you as you near the end?" The Old preist replied slowly: "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ." "Amen" said Gordon. "Amen" said Tony. The old priest continued: "He died between two lying bastards. I would like to do the same." |    |
Joke by willlovescars, in Celebrity and news events > Gordon Brown - Tagged gordon brown , tony blair , preist - Current Score: 21 - Added: 6 months, 26 days ago
| I saw that "Drink Sensibly" advert earlier, the "You wouldn't start a night like this, so why end it that way" one. It features the guy pissing all on the toilet seat and his shoes. I don't know about the rest of you lads, but that's normal for me! | |
Joke by willlovescars, in Illness and mortality > Drinking - Tagged drink , tv , piss , shoes , urine - Current Score: 18 - Added: 3 months, 26 days ago
| What's the difference between Mr Kipling and the Ipswich ripper? The Ipswich ripper can only fit five tarts in a box. | |
Joke by willlovescars, in Celebrity and news events > Ipswich Ripper - Tagged ipswich ripper mr kipling - Current Score: 15 - Added: 9 months, 25 days ago
| Girlfriend says: If my left leg was breakfast and my right leg was lunch, what would you prefer? Boyfriend says: Eating between meals... | |
Joke by willlovescars, in Sex and shit > camping - Tagged cunt , eat , meals - Current Score: 13 - Added: 7 months, 19 days ago
| I met a fat woman at work today. "What's your name?" I asked her. "Toni," the response came. I said, "but thats a man's name." "Toni with an 'I'," she told me. To which I replied, "that spells 'Tiny', and your definitely not that!" | |
Joke by willlovescars, in Illness and mortality > Fat - Tagged fat woman , tony , toni , tiny - Current Score: 12 - Added: 3 months, 8 days ago
| In an attempt to return lost luggage to travellers at Terminal 5, British Airways tested a scheme where pilots deliver the bags directly to the customer's door. Following a delivery in Farnbourough, the scheme has been cancelled. | |
Joke by willlovescars, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged terminal 5 , kent , crash , plane - Current Score: 12 - Added: 7 months, 19 days ago
| I noticed that they introduced BMX into the Olympics. If they introduced " Tactical Stabbing " GB would get gold all the way. | |
Joke by willlovescars, in Celebrity and news events > London Stabbings - Tagged london stabbings , olympics , bmx - Current Score: -1 - Added: 3 months, 15 days ago
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