I popped into Primark this morning to pick up a t-shirt my daughter had her eye on.

"Excuse me," I said at the till, "but any chance of a discount on this?"

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't think so," The cashier replied, "it's only a six quid item."

"Yes, but it's soiled," I explained. "There's a big black stain on the front."

"That's Rihanna's face, sir."
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