Chinese Jokes

I was in London the other day when I got mugged by two Chinese guys.

The police have narrowed it down to 45,000 suspects.
As a photographer, imagine my delight when I got a job to photograph pupils at a predominantly Chinese school. I made a fortune, and only had to take one photo.
This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?"
The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."
Is anyone else collecting the Panini stickers for the Chinese Football League?

I really need to do some swaps with someone as every packet I've bought so far contain the same fucking player.
A refuse collector is doing his rounds and notices one house in the street that doesn't have a wheelie-bin outside.
So he goes to the door and knocks. After a few minutes, an old Chinese man comes to the door.
"Where's your bin?" the refuse collector asks.
"I bin upstairs," the Chinese man replies.
"No! Where's your dustbin?" he says.
"I dust bin upstairs havin' a shit," the guy says.
"NO! WHERE'S YOUR WHEELIE-BIN?" he continues.
The old man thinks for a minute then says:
"Okay, you got me, I've wheelie bin having a wank."
Have you ever tried to play the Chinese version of the board game, "Guess who?" It's fucking impossible, they all looked the same.
I saw this guy in an Italian restaurant ordering pizza in fluent Italian. The waiter seemed to appreciate his willingness to accept their culture.

So, I tried the same thing in our local Chinese restaurant.

I squinted my eyes and shouted, "Harro! Spesha frah raice prease!" But instead of showing appreciation, they took the upturned prawn-cracker basket from my head and told me to get out.