Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world".
Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.
I saw an Indian asleep on the train, noticed the little red dot on his forehead, and thought, "Is he on standby?"
Having just seen half the staff, I now understand why they call it Currys.
I was driving round a packed car park for ages looking for a space, when finally this old lady started to leave. I drove into the space as quickly as I could, only to hear the angry beeping of a car horn behind me.
An Indian guy got out and said: "Hey, you can't take that space, I've been here for nearly an hour!"
I got out, slammed my door and said as I walked away: "Well I've been here my whole life, so fuck off!"
My regular Indian taxi driver picked me up whilst singing along to his crappy Punjabi music at the top of his voice.
He smiled when I pulled out my set of new ear plugs, "Looks like you've come prepared this time," he said laughing.
I smiled back at him and replied, "Yes," as I put them up my nostrils.
The council have asked me to take down my England flags to avoid upsetting the local Indian community.
So, to make them feel more at home, I gang raped one of their daughters and then hanged her.
What's 10 foot long and covers a cunt?
My daughter is at brownies tonight.
It's her first sleepover so I hope Sinita's parents take good care of her.
I was having a vindaloo in an Indian restaurant, when my stomach started to feel funny.
I dashed to the toilet as quickly as I could. What came out was truly disgusting. It was dark brown and smelled like rotting meat, I nearly threw up.
Luckily, he'd just finished cleaning the toilet so I could go for a shit.
Don't you think that the BBC should have made Doctor Who more realistic by giving us an Indian doctor that no one can understand?