For mothers there is Mothers Day,
For Lovers there is Valentines Day
but for Wankers there is Palm Sunday
You could be the greatest player in the world, but the pigeon will still knock over all the pieces, shit on the board and strut around triumphantly.
They say that gambling is wrong, then bet their entire life on there being a heaven.
It is believed to be so offensive that St Peter's church in Shrewsbury have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy Green from Margate has written in to Points of view.
When will the madness end?
So I wrote:
'Perform the miracle of feeding FIVE people with only 5,000 Loaves and Fishes.'