Jehovah's Witnesses Jokes
Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sssshhhhhh! pretend we are not in!!"
Bullshit, he didn't even try and duck when I punched him in the face.
Don't worry, I left no witnesses.
She opens the door and asks who they are.
They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses and she lets them both inside.
She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asks if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
"Two teas would be nice, please," comes the reply.
Then she asks if they would like custard creams with their drinks.
"Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," comes the response.
Five minutes later the old woman comes back into the front room and places the drinks and biscuits on the table, sits down and says, "So what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
The first Jehovah shrugs her shoulders and says, "We don't know, this is the furthest that we have ever got."
"Jesus can come in" I said, "but you can fuck off."
Only kidding! Because we don't go around knocking ON YOUR FUCKING DOOR.
They don't like random strangers knocking on their door.
The man says, "Church of England."
St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"
"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"
"Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
The next man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"
St. Peter tells him, "The Jehovah's Witnesses are in room 8, they think they're the only ones here."