Jesus Jokes

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother
was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian :
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian :
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. She fed a crowd at a
moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. She kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when She was dead, She had to get up because there was still work to do
Mohammed spent a lot of time up mountains, slaying goats and raping children,

Jesus spent a lot of time around the docks and managed to feed the 5000 on fish.

And that, people, is the difference between gross prophet and net prophet.
Jesus walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water which he then turns into wine.
The barman says, "Oy, what do you think you are doing?"
Jesus replies, "I'm not paying your fucking prices."
If Jesus died for our sins...

Then if we don't sin, surely he died for nothing...

Fuck the confessional, people, get out there and rape things!