I suggest Pakistan:
We could build a huge church in the middle of Islamabad that dominates the skyline, set up chippys and shops on every corner, assault the locals who dare to come into "our" part of town, set up specialist shops selling pork products and non-halal meat, protest to the government that the name "Ramadan" is offensive to our religion, and ask that they make it more inclusive by changing it to "Starve Yourself Fest."
The librarian recommends the Qur'an.
There's a drawing of the prophet Mohammed on it and you get to colour him in!
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"