Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian recommends the Qur'an.
I hear stories about a new kind of toilet paper being sold.
There's a drawing of the prophet Mohammed on it and you get to colour him in!
I'm not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"
When Muslim parents have to use the, "Open wide, here comes the airplane!" technique, do they just smash it in their face and make explosive noises?
Following my joke last week about the Holy Qur'an, and the large number of private messages from Muslim members of this site that followed it, I would like to make the following statement:
"Islam is a religion based on peace, love and respect, and this is the central message of the Qur'an. As such I offer a full apology for making the claim that it encourages suicide bombing and violence."
OK, there - I said it. Now can you please stop sending me death threats?
There's an old saying:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
But nowadays most doctors seem to be Muslim so I find that bacon is far more effective.
So the world's tallest building has been opened in Dubai, with the world's highest Mosque within it.
Anyone here a pilot?
Police are warning people to be on the lookout for Muslim suicide bombers over Christmas who are set to launch a wave of terror with a new 'Alphabet Bomb'.
If one of those fuckers goes off, it could spell disaster. 236