A Northern Territory farm hand (an aboriginal) radios back to the farm manager.

"Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the truck. The pig's ok, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of my truck and is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out."

The manager says, "Ok, there's a .303 rifle behind the seat. Take it, shoot the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove hi [...]

A Northern Territory farm hand (an aboriginal) radios back to the farm manager.

"Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the truck. The pig's ok, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of my truck and is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out."

The manager says, "Ok, there's a .303 rifle behind the seat. Take it, shoot the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him."

Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, "I did what you said boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and removed him from the bull-bars. No problem there, but I still can't go on".

"Now what's the problem?" raged the Manager.

"Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck under the right-front wheel arch."

"You there Boss?"

Have you seen the world's shortest books?:
Irish Wit and Wisdom.
Jewish Business Ethics.
Italian War Heroes.
Negroes I Have Met While Yachting.
aboriginal Hygiene Hints.
Adolf Hitler's Kosher Recipes.
Muslim Pork Dishes.
The Amish Phone Book.
Things I Can`t Afford by Bill Gates.
Great Women Drivers of Today.
The Complete Guide to Catholic Sex.
Th [...]

Have you seen the world's shortest books?:
Irish Wit and Wisdom.
Jewish Business Ethics.
Italian War Heroes.
Negroes I Have Met While Yachting.
aboriginal Hygiene Hints.
Adolf Hitler's Kosher Recipes.
Muslim Pork Dishes.
The Amish Phone Book.
Things I Can`t Afford by Bill Gates.
Great Women Drivers of Today.
The Complete Guide to Catholic Sex.
The Book of Good Australian Beer.
Beauty Secrets by Cathy Freeman.

A zoo keeper was ecstatic when his zoo secured the transfer of a new female Gorilla to his zoo. He had high hopes to start a breeding program to pay for the transfer. However not long after her arrival, the male gorilla karked it. In a panic, the keeper had an idea and approached the aboriginal man who cleaned out the cages.
"Look, would you be up for shagging that new gorilla for $500?"
The aborigine thought about i [...]

A zoo keeper was ecstatic when his zoo secured the transfer of a new female Gorilla to his zoo. He had high hopes to start a breeding program to pay for the transfer. However not long after her arrival, the male gorilla karked it. In a panic, the keeper had an idea and approached the aboriginal man who cleaned out the cages.
"Look, would you be up for shagging that new gorilla for $500?"
The aborigine thought about it for a while and said, "Okay, but I have conditions."
"Fine, what are they?" asked the zoo keeper.
"Firstly, no one but you and me finds out, alright?"
"Absolutely, completely secret."
"Second, no kissing."
The zoo keeper was getting excited at this point, "Fine, fine, whatever you want."
"Finally," said the aboriginal man, "I need you to give me a week to get the money together."

Went outback in Australia and visited a pub in the middle of nowhere. After a couple of beers i needed a piss and asked where the toilets were. "Round the back mate" said the barman. When I went around the back of the pub there were two enormous mountains of shit, each covered in blowflies. Just then, an aboriginal man ran up one of the mounds, squatted at the top and took a crap. Out came the barman, pulled out a rifle and s [...]

Went outback in Australia and visited a pub in the middle of nowhere. After a couple of beers i needed a piss and asked where the toilets were. "Round the back mate" said the barman. When I went around the back of the pub there were two enormous mountains of shit, each covered in blowflies. Just then, an aboriginal man ran up one of the mounds, squatted at the top and took a crap. Out came the barman, pulled out a rifle and shot the abo dead. "Why did you do that?" I asked. "Well mate, he was using the ladies" he replied.