Search Results for "animal sex"
I had sex with my girlfriend last night and afterwards she called me an "animal" in bed.
Wow. I can't believe she was fantasizing about the same thing!
I had sex with a monarch last night.
I assume members of the animal Kingdom count.
MSN headline: "Police arrest sheep sex suspect."
"Penetration of or BY an animal is illegal and carries a sentence of up to two years imprisonment."
So let me get this straight, I understand the sentence if you rape a sheep, but if YOU get raped by a sheep you still get 2 years?
Right, from now on I'm dressing up like a sheep and SHE can do the time.
Daily Mail.co.uk/news: animal doctor had sex with a horse while he was a veterinarian student
But very wisely he had signed a pact with Camilla not to disclose the incident until now.
My wife had her head in the paper when she piped up, "What sort of person has sex with an animal? It's disgusting."
I said, "You can't just let it go can you?"
I got arrested last night for having sex in a public place.
Or 'animal cruelty' as the police call it.
I could never have sex with an animal again.
...lost my cock.
"I've got a dangerous sexual fetish" I told my new girlfriend "I'm a 'furry' "
She took it well but said "I don't see how dressing as a furry animal to have sex is dangerous".
"I'm a lemming".
My wife tells me I'm an animal in bed- like the mighty lion.
sex only lasts thirty seconds, then I nap for twenty hours, wake up, and nick her food.
A woman is very distressed because she has not been married
very long, and yet her husband has lost interest in having sex.
So, she goes to see her doctor, and relays the problem.
The doctor doesn't seem worried at all and tells her that this
is nothing serious, that her husband has merely lost his animal
The doctor tells her to crumble some dog biscuits on her husband's
cereal every morning without telling him, and little by little
this will bring out the savage beast in him. He wishes her good
luck and tells her to come back in a week with a progress report.
A week later the woman returns to the doctor, who asks how her
"He's dead," she replies.
"Dead?" the doctor asked. "What happened?"
The woman replied, "He was sitting on the driveway licking
his balls, and I backed over him with the car."