Fellow Sickipedians,

My story-

I, like probably many of you, am an average user. I post many jokes but always seem to get buried. Which is strange to me as I convince myself that the joke i am posting isn't very similar to a previous joke i may have just seen on Mock The Week. I secretly know it is...but they might not know...probably worth a try....of course they knew.

My aim -

Just once, [...]

Fellow Sickipedians,

My story-

I, like probably many of you, am an average user. I post many jokes but always seem to get buried. Which is strange to me as I convince myself that the joke i am posting isn't very similar to a previous joke i may have just seen on Mock The Week. I secretly know it is...but they might not know...probably worth a try....of course they knew.

My aim -

Just once, to be proudly sitting under Hot Jokes Today, with the actually funny people.

My Joke -

Well to tell you the truth, i hoped by the time you were reading this you might have a wry smile on your face. If not, i won't get upset.

Thankyou
P.S
If it helps, I don't like niggers and I am a paedophile.

I’d just like to say a few words of respect for Liam Gill

Liam was a lovely lad, always knew how to conduct himself despite coming from a broken ohm.
The cheeky scouser only had to walk into a room and the place would light up.
He had his deep moments as well though, often asking ‘Watt is life all about?” his curiosity sparked off by a natural inquisitiveness.
It’s sad to think he won’t be around to realise his dream, to train to be a conductor.
[...]

I’d just like to say a few words of respect for Liam Gill

Liam was a lovely lad, always knew how to conduct himself despite coming from a broken ohm.
The cheeky scouser only had to walk into a room and the place would light up.
He had his deep moments as well though, often asking ‘Watt is life all about?” his curiosity sparked off by a natural inquisitiveness.
It’s sad to think he won’t be around to realise his dream, to train to be a conductor.

He's to be buried in the family volt.

Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
[...]

Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?