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I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?! |
 
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Joke submitted by storyteller, originally by Jimmy Carr in Crime - Paedophilia - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago
- Current Score: 3,825.6
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To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:
South-east England born and raised On reality TV spending most of my days Bein' racist, whoring out and relaxin' all cool And being disgusting, Fuck the gene pool When a couple of cells Who were up to no good Startin making cancer in my vaginalhood I got one little lump and my doctors got scared They said 'we are putting you on [...] |
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When watching Michael Jackson's coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words... cool Runnings. |
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Joke by Dr.John in Celebrities - Michael Jackson - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
- Current Score: 2,196
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Just been chatting to my neighbours teenage daughter and it turns out she's big into UFOs and aliens. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted. |
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The sun is shining, it's really warm and there's not a cloud in the sky. No noise or pollution from planes flying overhead. Think I'll stroll down to the pub by the river for a cool pint or two... everyone's relaxed, the girls are in skimpy clothes and no cunt is asking me for donations. I hope you're watching, Haiti, Chile, China, Pakistan.... This is how us white folks do a natural disaster! |
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My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the 'LOL' was necessary. |
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| Did you know that, if you watch Lord of the Rings backwards, it's a story about a little guy who gets a cool ring from a volcano and spends the rest of the film walking home... |
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So, I finally got around to seeing the new Karate Kid, and was really pleased to find out that it was the story all about how Jaden Smith's life got flipped turned upside down.
You see, he was chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, shooting some b-ball outside of his school, when a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in his neighbourhood. He got in one little fight and his mom got s [...] |
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TRUE STORY:
I was just on the train on the way home, two white chavs were sat behind me discussing their sex lives'. Chav A: "I don't think I'm gonna fuck that Chantelle again, she was cool for a bit but now she's being all retarded" Chav B: "You can't say that bro!" Chav A: "Can't say what?" Chav B: "Retarded, that's like well offensive, it [...] |
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Now this is the story all about how
My sled got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I took a bad turn and caught mad air In Soviet Georgia born and raised On the ice luge where I spent most of my days Chilling out, luging, relaxing all cool Taking Russian hostages inside a school When a couple of Reds, they were up to [...] |
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