Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom to find his Dad giving his Mum one. His Dad smirks and throws a pillow at the door saying, "Get outta here, you little shit!"

A couple of hours later Dad hears a whole lot of commotion coming from little Johnny's bedroom. He goes up to find little Johnny giving his grandma a right royal seeing to.

Little Johnny smiles, "It's not so fucking funny when i [...]

Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom to find his Dad giving his Mum one. His Dad smirks and throws a pillow at the door saying, "Get outta here, you little shit!"

A couple of hours later Dad hears a whole lot of commotion coming from little Johnny's bedroom. He goes up to find little Johnny giving his grandma a right royal seeing to.

Little Johnny smiles, "It's not so fucking funny when it's YOUR mum, is it?"

Harry is visiting his grandma. She complains about the high cost of living. "When I was a girl, you could go out with a shilling and come back home with a dozen eggs, two pints of milk, a pound of bacon, half a pound of tea and a fresh chicken."
"Yes," says Harry, "that's inflation for you."
"It's nothing to do with inflation," says grandma [...]

Reveal the rest of this joke

Harry is visiting his grandma. She complains about the high cost of living. "When I was a girl, you could go out with a shilling and come back home with a dozen eggs, two pints of milk, a pound of bacon, half a pound of tea and a fresh chicken."
"Yes," says Harry, "that's inflation for you."
"It's nothing to do with inflation," says grandma, "it's all them fucking CCTV cameras they have nowadays."

There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday. He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father.

"Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today?" the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up.

"I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, [...]

There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday. He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father.

"Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today?" the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up.

"I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today?"

"Let me give it a guess." grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for a while, squeezing them, moving them back and forth, takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old."

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father."

A man and his friend stop by the local pub after work. He loses track of time, looks at his watch and sees its 11:00.

He says, “Oh shit! My wife’s going to kill me! I’ve got to get home.”

His buddy says, “Relax, try what I do. Whenever I’m out too late, I just sneak into the house, tiptoe up the stairs, quietly slip into bed, and go down on my wife. She‘ll be so happy, she‘ll forget about you being out too late.”

The guy thanks hi [...]

A man and his friend stop by the local pub after work. He loses track of time, looks at his watch and sees its 11:00.

He says, “Oh shit! My wife’s going to kill me! I’ve got to get home.”

His buddy says, “Relax, try what I do. Whenever I’m out too late, I just sneak into the house, tiptoe up the stairs, quietly slip into bed, and go down on my wife. She‘ll be so happy, she‘ll forget about you being out too late.”

The guy thanks him, leaves, and follows his friend’s advice. He sneaks into the house, slips under the covers and goes to work. When he’s finished, he gets up to use the bathroom. He opens the door and is shocked to see his wife sitting on the toilet. He screams, “What the hell are you doing in here!”

The wife says, “Be quiet! grandma’s sleeping in the other room!”

He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "grandma what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback but she decided to tell him the truth.

"It's called sexual intercourse darling."

Little Tony said "Oh OK" and went back outside to play wit [...]

He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "grandma what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback but she decided to tell him the truth.

"It's called sexual intercourse darling."

Little Tony said "Oh OK" and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily

"grandma it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you."

A Norwich fan goes to the doctors for a regular check up. The doctor asks how he's feeling.
"I'm a bit sore around the penis area," replies the dirty Norwich fan.
"How many sexual partners have you had then?" asks the doctor.
"Well," he replies, "there's my sister, auntie, mum, daughter, cousin, grandma and my other auntie - so that's 7. And what's even better is that I can count them [...]

A Norwich fan goes to the doctors for a regular check up. The doctor asks how he's feeling.
"I'm a bit sore around the penis area," replies the dirty Norwich fan.
"How many sexual partners have you had then?" asks the doctor.
"Well," he replies, "there's my sister, auntie, mum, daughter, cousin, grandma and my other auntie - so that's 7. And what's even better is that I can count them all on one hand!"

Dating Rituals:

WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a [...]

Dating Rituals:

WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mum makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite oral sex.
Second Date: You get more great oral sex.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and you never get oral sex again.

CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing hapens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.

The POINT?
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?