You MUST be funny. If you're not funny then just fuck off.
This a a SICK jokes website. Save the light bulb jokes for when you go to visit your nan. Reading the jokes on this site should make you fearful that Interpol are going to come to your house and confiscate your hard-drive. Remember the three Rs of sick humour: racism, rape and 'rse'oles.
(i) jokes should be fairly short - roughly the size of an Chinese guy's knob. No huge long stories please. Everyone here has A.D.D. from wanking too much (that's how you get it, you know).
(ii) No big list jokes please. Your 50 Ways To Have Fun in An Elevator is my 50 Reasons To Go Round Your House And rape Your Cat.
(iii) If you know 20 good dead baby jokes, don't post them all in one go. And definitely don't post them as individual jokes one after another so nobody else can get into the new jokes list, you selfish prick. Try posting one per day.
(i) Don't just copy and paste things from other joke sites
(ii) Especially American joke sites, because they're fucking rubbish.
(iii) If you post a Chuck Norris fact as a joke, then YOU ARE A CUNT.
(i) This body acknowledges that Americans are fat, whiny, boring shitbags with the sense of humour of a five-year old that's been dropped on it's head. We hope that all the Fat Americans eat all the Skinny Americans, and then the Fat Americans die of food poisoning.
(ii) That said, YOU DO NOT NEED TO KEEP POSTING THINGS ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE AMERICANS! We get it.
(iii) Funny how the people who write anti-American rants (a) only started doing it when they saw how successful mickle's rant was and (b) never have any popular jokes of their own.
If you're going to do a joke about how foreigners can't speak English, then check your own spelling and grammar first. If not, we're all going to laugh at you and call you a fucking knob-end.
If you post a message as a joke and say "PLEASE VOTE THIS UP SO EVERYONE CAN READ IT", you're a bigger cunt than people who post Chuck Norris facts.
(i) Adding "Duplicate" to the end of a duplicated joke is acceptable. You probably don't need to say "DUPLICATE YOU FUCKING DONKEY COCK SUCKER!!!" unless the author really does suck donkey cocks.
(ii) Don't add things like "lol!" to the end of jokes you like, you big fucking gay.
No fat chicks.
While you were busy reading this, I was fucking your mum. Ha!
I've been on this site for some time now and I've been doing some in-depth research, scouring hundreds of jokes and using carefully calculated formulas. I think I've come up with the optimum joke for vote getting on Sickipedia.....
Statistically 9 out of 10 Doctors and Nurses will not return their Library Books on Gang rape as they will die of an appendicitis related suicide first.
For a few months now I have been laughing at and posting sick jokes on this website. I believed that no target was too low; taboos were there to be broken. I thought that it was great spending my time laughing at victims, be them of rape, murder or abuse.
Last night something happened that has completely changed my perspective on things. My family found out that my father has been abusing and raping my 5 year old sister Katie. My poor mother woke up in the night and caught my Dad in the act in her room. It was the screams of my distressed Mother that brought me running to the scene where I found out the sordid truth.
As I am sure you can understand, in light of these events I no longer feel that I will be able to post on this website. I just can't see myself having any spare time now I know Katie's been broken in.
There seems to be a real lack of jokes about Remembrance Sunday today.
Proving that despite all the jokes about useless niggers, smelly pakis, idiotic yanks, disgusting poofs, abducted childen, vicar paedophilia, violent rape, celebrity deaths and necrophilia, Sickipedians still know when to draw the line...