Search Results for "sean lock"
So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...
Thirty million acres of rainforest are being destroyed each year and I'm attempting to recycle a jar of Marmite.
It's like turning up at an earthquake with a dustpan and brush.
They say a woman's work is never done.
Maybe that's why they get paid less.
There's a little-known but foolproof defence against sharks.
Sharks will only attack you if you're wet.
Sayin "lots of my best friends are black" is no excuse for racism.
It's like saying "how can i be a murderer, lots of my friends are alive"
"how can i be a paedophile, most of my friends are chil-" oh wait
How do you stop a dog shagging your leg?
Pick it up and suck its cock.
I'm in therapy at the moment. I don't need it, obviously, but I got all these psychiatrist gift vouchers for Christmas which my family clubbed together for.
What I really wanted was a crossbow.
You can tell a lot about a person by which X Factor contestant they like. For example, if they like any of them, they're completely fucktarded.
I have the most depressing job in the world.
Writing the horoscopes in the Big Issue
A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes.