Search Results for "shagging my dad"

I was shagging for the first time last night. Thrusting away frantically and erratically on top of my girlfriend just wasn't working. Then I listened to my dad's advice - "Making love is for you AND your partner. Don't rush, it's not a race". I slowed down and had the best hour of my life.

Then I turned to my dad, thanked him and asked him to kindly get the fuck out of my room.
I took a girl back to my house last night.

As she laid handcuffed to the bed with a blindfold on, I said, "Right, now I'm going to shag you."

"You've been shagging me for the last 5 minutes." she replied.

"No I haven't," I said, "That was my dad."
Dear Gillette,

I was shagging my sister this morning and my dad walked in.
I very quickly hid under the cover and kept still whilst my sister closed her eyes.
He walked out thinking that my sister was asleep.

Now, what I want to know is whether you think that was a closer shave than the new Gillette Fusion Power?

I said to my son, "Sit down I want to show you some pictures, but don't tell your mother."

He said, "dad, I've seen naked women before."

"I know," I replied. "But these are pictures of a woman I'm shagging at work."
There's no fucking pleasing them!..........(Women).

I got ditched!...................Personally if I came home and found my wife on the sofa shagging my mother I would have been chuffed that they were getting on so well.

I Just don't get it!

Does that mean she caught you fucking your dad then?
my wife said to me "I think you should have a chat with Jack about the birds and the bees, he's 12 next week"

I went into his room where he was playing his latest video game "Jack we need to talk, come and sit on the edge of the bed son"

"Two minutes dad," he replied "I just need to kill this prostitute after shagging her and take my money back"