Search Results for "thick cunt"

Tried breaking into a car last night. Christ, they make those passenger windows thick these days.

Ah well, smashed up the door and side panel with a brick, that'll piss the cunt off.
A few ponderings for the disgusting little smackhead who tried, but ultimately failed, to break into my car this afternoon:

1. As a smackhead, you are by default already the lowest of the low - paedophiles and serial rapists look down upon you with disgust, and your mother probably disowned you years ago if she hasn't already died of shame. But what's actually more amusing, is that when it comes to being a horrible, dislikable, robbing little cunt (not a particularly tough task when you put your mind to it) you failed not once, but what looks like over thirty-times. Even your fellow baghead companions can't bear to look you in the eye right now; such is the extent of your almost super-human feableness.

2. The particular method of breaking into my car you selected is not particularly complicated or scientific. Generally speaking, the process of throwing a brick through a car window requires very little strength, and even less brainpower. Yet you were still lacking in both respects. Perhaps if your regular heroin intake hadn't caused all of the major blood vessels in your arms to collapse you may have had more luck, so as a word of fatherly advice, next time why not stick your filfthy needle elswhere? The big toe's a nice spot, so I hear. Expert tip: make sure you get some air in there, it really adds to the 'kick'.

3. What really impressed me though was the way that having completely and utterly failed in your attempt to get into my car, you set to strategically smashing up the door and side-panel with aforementioned brick, apparently just to piss me off. Of course, what you do not realise is that losing my 'whopping' £50 insurance excess is absolutely no great shakes to me, for I am an immensely wealthy man who opted for doing something with his adult years as opposed to setting up camp as an utter scumbag and injecting unknown substances (Clue: HIV is one of them) into my own body, whilst laying unconscious, stewing in a pool of piss, shit, and vomit - perhaps some of it not even my own. In fact, it fills me with great pleasure this evening to know that my television has a larger surface area than your entire, makeshift, shop-doorway home, and has the added bonus of not smelling of piss, nor does it contain over 400 unique traces of human (and fuck it, who knows, animal?) semen.

And so, in summary, a big fucking well done to you - you absolute, 100% bona fide little bell-end. I shall sleep well tonight, in my large, warm bed, safely in the knowledge that you only know the first three letters of the alphabet thanks to your familiarity with Hepatitis, and that when the AIDS finally comes a-knocking, that you will fail to overcome that just as spectacularly as you did the 1-inch thick piece of glass in my passenger window.

Good night - you cunt!
Paddy pulls alongside a lorry and shouts, "Oi, driver! You're losing your load!"

Driver replies, "Fuck off!"

5 miles further along, Paddy again shouts, "Oi, you're losing your load!"

Driver again replies, "Fuck off!"

5 miles further along, Paddy yells, "I'm not joking! Honestly, you are losing your load!"

Driver then shouts, "Will you go away you thick Irish cunt, I'm gritting!"
I went out with the Mrs the other day for a walk.
"Ohh, I fancy an ice cream" she said, "but it's a bit cold"
"Well, that's ice cream for you love" I replied

thick cunt...
My girlfriend just randomly started screaming at me for no reason.
"YOU PUT ME SECOND TO EVERYTHING! SECOND TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR JOB, EVEN YOUR FUCKING PS3! I'M SICK OF BEING SECOND-BEST!!"
I said "Well that would make you 4th best, you thick cunt."
Porn Films That Should've Been:

300 "
Pretty Shitty Gang Bang
Inspect her Gadget
Schindlers fist
Deep Impact
Harry Pooper
The Boner Ultimatum
Lawrence of A Labia
Gangbangs of New York
How to Make a Guy Cum in Ten Minutes
Womb Raider
Jurassic Pork
Under Dog
Big
One blew over the hookers chest
Night of the giving head'
Thrush hour
I'm Hard with Avengeance
Brokeback Mountain
Too tight for the seven dwarves
Crouching Minor, Hidden Jacko
Throbbin Hood
Bumb and Bum-her
The 14-year-old virgin
Saturday Night Beaver
28 dicks later
Ass Ventura
Men In Black Men
Grinding Nemo
Hot Boner
American Cock
Shaun of the Brothel
Cumalot
Bend Hur
Shaving Private Ryan [Shaving Ryan's Privates]
The Sperminator
My Little Jap's Eye
8 gay men
Alien vs Sex Predator
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Seven Brides fuck Seven Brothers
James Dong - Quantum of bollocks
Quaranteenager
Sex Toy Story
Star trek the next penetration
Sex-Men
9 Months Later
Tenatious D: The dick of destiny
Chitty Chitty Gang Bang
E.T.: The Extra Testicle
Piss-on-me (Misery)
Jack fucks Sally's ass (Jackass)
The Da Vinci Choad
Glad He Ate Her
Clitman
Schindler's Fist
Swallow The Yellow thick Load
Picnic at Hanging Cock
Honey, I fucked the kids
Everybody does Raymond
Beauty into Bestiality
Anals with dirty faces
Bukkake Rogers
How Green was my Fanny (starring Jade Goody)
Beverly Hills Cock
Clitty Clitty Gang Bang
Bridget Jones's Dildo
Forrest Hump
The Sperminator
American Hairy Pie
Lord Of The Rings
The Italian Blow Job
Ass Traffic
The Fuck It List
Stuarts Little Cock
Over the Bush
Bush Raider
Almost Legal
Hannah Mounts Anna
House of The Head
Star Whores
Starfish Troopers
Shaft
When Harry wet Sally
star Whores , The Empire Pimps back
In Diana Jones
World Whore One:Deep In The Trenchs
The Wizzard Of Ass
Star Whores: Return Of The Gigolo
Lassie, Cum!
Rambo
The Importance Of Balling Ernest
More cunt For Old Men
Girl With a Pearl Necklace
New Jack Me Off City
Children In Men
Sleepers 2: Date Rape
Edward Dildo Hands
Poon Tang (Pootie Tang)
American Creampie
The Gay tricks
Charlie Wilson's Whore
Robocock
Pump Friction
Reservoir Dogging
Bareback Mountin'
The ShawShaft Erection
Wankenstein
The ring
Dirty shitty thongs (dirty pretty things)
Don't make her wake (layer cake)
The Nig Meat Train
Full Rubber Jacket
Rambone
Clithanger
3 men and a little lady
homo alone
To rape a mockingbird
The Blair Fist Project
Ghost raper
White Men Can't Hump
Sperminator 2: Vadgement Day
Anal Giving Sunday
the good the bad and the slut
cool handjob luke
the slutty dozen
Babylon POV
Curvaceous Dee And her dick of destiny
Camp cock
three willys
American history of Sex
The shafting of the Lambs
Buffy The Vampire Layer
Sex Men
Forest Hump
Greasy
Once upon a time in Amelia
Reservoir Dogging
Gaytrix re-rimmed
Cool Bummings
Two and A Half Men (think about it)
Unlawful Entry (it's a real title)
Shaun Giving Head
Judge Head
Black Cock Down
Meet These Fuckers
Kevin & Perry Get Large
Cumblob spill-in-her-hair
Harry Potter and the underage blow job
X men orifice: wolverim
One Fine Gay
Frig Daddy
Days of Gloryholes
Grease'd
8cm [8mm]
Cum Air
The Hills' Have Japs Eyes
The Wedding Finger
300mm
Jap-Eye Gilmore
Bend It Like Beckham
The Fox And The Hound
The Village
King Dong
Scooby Do's Two
Spidermanhood
50 Fisted Dates
About A Boy..
Wallace and Gromit; Curse of the Whore Rabbit
Wimble's Done [Wimbledon]
13 Going On Top Of 30
The Gay After Tomorrow
The 13 Year Old Virgin
'Ocean' Is 12
On Her Majesty's Secret Cervix