Hi Sickipedia! I just spent several days in Brixton, doing a little field research into this idea you all have that black people are thieving, drug dealing gang bangers. Here are my findings, I think you'll agree they certainly merit reconsidering your prejudices!

Day 1: A positively charming young Negro fellow offered me a bag of sugar for much less than Tesco or Asda. Wonderful stuff too, my tea's never tasted better.
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Hi Sickipedia! I just spent several days in Brixton, doing a little field research into this idea you all have that black people are thieving, drug dealing gang bangers. Here are my findings, I think you'll agree they certainly merit reconsidering your prejudices!

Day 1: A positively charming young Negro fellow offered me a bag of sugar for much less than Tesco or Asda. Wonderful stuff too, my tea's never tasted better.

Day 2: Helped out a black man in a spot of bother, he'd only gone and locked himself out of his car and forgotten the keys! We got it open between us though.

Day 3: Flattered today, as I was propositioned by no less than three lovely young black women. Odd flirtatious lines though, such as "holiday discount on oral". All sorts, I suppose.

Day 4: A second charismatic young man offered me another bag, this time of some really quite fantastic, finely ground pot pourri! The smell was just divine, it really took me somewhere else.

Day 5: There's great community spirit around here, I've just seen a crowd of eight or nine young black man heartily encouraging a woman who had fallen to "get back up on her knees" and urging her to "come on".
A little later, while waiting for a train home, a considerate Negro graciously offered to hold my bag as I stood on the platform. Unfortunately, he must have been called by a friend, as he ran off, and clean forgot he was still holding it! Never mind. 

There we have it then. Blacks are in fact fair, helpful, friendly people who have some hard luck and get some bad press. I hope you can all learn from this!

A young black boy is helping his Mother to bake bread in the kitchen when he gets flour all over his face. He spreads the flour around a bit and turns to his Mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy!"

His mother slaps him hard across the face and says, "Go and tell your daddy what you just did!"

The boy goes through to the lounge and says, "Look dad I'm a white boy!"

[...]

A young black boy is helping his Mother to bake bread in the kitchen when he gets flour all over his face. He spreads the flour around a bit and turns to his Mother and says, "Look Momma, I'm a white boy!"

His mother slaps him hard across the face and says, "Go and tell your daddy what you just did!"

The boy goes through to the lounge and says, "Look dad I'm a white boy!"

The father grabs the boy throws him over his knee and slaps his arse really hard and says, "Go tell your Granddaddy what you said!"

The boy trots off and finds his grandfather and rather sheepishly says, "Look mum I'm a white boy!" The grandfather grabs the boy, drags him to the bathroom, puts a block of soap in his mouth and begins to scrub his tongue with it before sending him to his room with no dinner.

Later that evening his mother calls him down to the lounge where his family are all seated and says, "Well have you learned anything?"

To which the boy replies, "Yeah I was only white for 5 minutes and I already hate you black bastards."

An old man was in hospital. Lying in bed, he leaned over to the pretty young nurse attending to him and whispered in her ear
"Give us a kiss, luv!"

"No!", replied the nurse

"Oh go on!", said the man

"No!", replied the nurse again

"Please!", begged the old man, "Just a quick peck on the cheek?"

"F [...]

An old man was in hospital. Lying in bed, he leaned over to the pretty young nurse attending to him and whispered in her ear
"Give us a kiss, luv!"

"No!", replied the nurse

"Oh go on!", said the man

"No!", replied the nurse again

"Please!", begged the old man, "Just a quick peck on the cheek?"

"For the last time, no!", said the nurse, "I shouldn't even be wanking you off!"

This prisoner escapes after 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and food, and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair and he ties the wife to the bed, and gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He's prob [...]

This prisoner escapes after 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and food, and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair and he ties the wife to the bed, and gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain and do what he tells you, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably really dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, and thought you were cute. He asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom, so I told him where to find it. Be strong, darling. I love you, too."