I met two girls down the pub last night who had strong Cardiff accents.
I said, "I know that accent. You two ladies are from scotland, aren't you?"
"Wales, you fucking idiot," one of them replied.
"Sorry," I said. "You two whales are from scotland, aren't you?"
Found this online and it has convinced me that Prince Philip is a founding member of Sickipedia, it's a list of many of his politically correct one-liners:
# "Still throwing spears?" (Question put to an Australian Aborigine during a visit in March 2002)
# "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (in 1996, amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting)
# "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (Speaking to a driving instructor in Oban, scotland)
# "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." (in 1999, referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory near Edinburgh)
# "You are a woman, aren't you?" (in 1984, in Kenya, to a native woman who had presented him with a small gift)
# "You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly." (in 1993, to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary)
# "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (in 1994, to an islander in the Cayman Islands)
# "You managed not to get eaten, then?" (in 1998, to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea)
# "If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." (at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting)
# "Brazilians live there” (On key problems facing Brazil)
# "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" (Sharing a joke with a blind, wheelchair-bound girl with a guide-dog)
# "In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."
# 'Ever been on a plane before? It was just like that.' (To the leader of Paraguay when asked how his flight was)
# 'Deaf? I'm not surprised with that bloody racket!' (To a class of deaf children sat next to a brass band)
# 'Do you have a licence for that?' (To a man in a motorized wheelchair)
# 'If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.' (To British students in China during Royal visit there in 1986.)
Police have charged a man for the murder of two French students in South London.
Making a statement outside scotland Yard this evening, Superintendent Brannigan said, "Since the furore over the shooting of that Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes in 2005 we can no longer provide this service for free."
It's true that sometimes your name matches what you do.
Stephen Ireland - played football for Ireland
Jason scotland - played football in scotland
Scott Speed - NASCAR driver
Tiger Woods - golfer
Cardinal Sin - Filipino archbishop of Manilla
Usain Bolt - fastest person in the world
God only knows what I’ll do. What does the future hold for Pete O' Fyle?