Single = "I wank all day long and watch porn hoping for a Girlfriend"
In a Relatonship = " I talk to a girl on World of Warcraft, she says she loves me and
asks for my Credit Card details, like a real Girlfriend.
Engaged = "A girl from russia is on her way"
Married = "The Girl is here and i think she likes me, she doesn't speak english though."
It's Complicated = "She is starting to go out to nightclubs and bring men back to my flat"
In a Open Relationship = "She asks me to film her having sex with other men, i get to wank sometimes."
Widowed = "She only refers to me as the camera man now."
Seperated = "She has moved into some other guy's house"
Divorced = "I called immigration, she's going back to Russia"
In a civil partnership = "I have given up on women, now i suck cocks in the back of the comic book store"
This week I was diagnosed with HIV, my wife left me for my richer, handsomer, more successful younger brother, I got fired for refusing the sexual advances of my elderly male boss, my son told me he's leaving the army to have a sex change and become a trans-sexual porn star, my daughter married her crystal meth dealer & my dog was run down and killed by a joyriding chav.
But on the bright side, it's been two days since I last saw a bitstrip cartoon on Facebook.