After winning the Junior UK hide and seek championships, Shannon Matthews will now travel abroad to take on the current European Champion, Madeleine McCann.

Correction: the current European champion is in fact Anne Frank, who successfully hid for almost 5 years before being caught. Maddie has only been gone about 18 months. Besides, we all know she's buried in the woods.< [...]

After winning the Junior UK hide and seek championships, Shannon Matthews will now travel abroad to take on the current European Champion, Madeleine McCann.

Correction: the current European champion is in fact Anne Frank, who successfully hid for almost 5 years before being caught. Maddie has only been gone about 18 months. Besides, we all know she's buried in the woods.

Further correction: Anne Franks record was broken by Austrian Elisabeth Fritzl, who was hidden for 24 years.

But Elisabeth Fritzl was disqualified because she had help from her Dad.

Further Further Correction: I've been hiding me a child for 32 years! Fuck all of you!!!

Further Further Further Correction: Madeleine McCann also had help from her father, so why should miss Fritzl be disqualified?

Further Further Further Further Correction: Please stop being so disrespectful about innocent children. As a six year old, I am getting fed up of the constant jibes. The situation is now so dire that it has affected my career as a salt-distiller in my uncle's basement.

In response to mrjohn's joke:

* "Anyone else think a 9/11 edition of Jenga would be a good idea?"

Here are some other good ideas:

* Scalextric: Princess Diana Edition (rapist101)
* Twister: Gary Glitter Edition (Madman)
* John Darwin Inflatable Canoes
* Cluedo: Rhys Jones Edition (Bitchtits)
* Shannon Matthews Cabbage Patch Kid (Bean)
* Where's Wally: Madeleine[...]

Reveal the rest of this joke

In response to mrjohn's joke:

* "Anyone else think a 9/11 edition of Jenga would be a good idea?"

Here are some other good ideas:

* Scalextric: Princess Diana Edition (rapist101)
* Twister: Gary Glitter Edition (Madman)
* John Darwin Inflatable Canoes
* Cluedo: Rhys Jones Edition (Bitchtits)
* Shannon Matthews Cabbage Patch Kid (Bean)
* Where's Wally: Madeleine McCann Edition (Cam_Sam)
* Stephen Hawking Hopscotch (Cam_Sam)
* Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross Phone
* Operation: Jade Goody Edition
* Francesca Anobile Sledging Simulator
* Football Manager: Luis Scolari Edition
* Cowboys and Pakis (123max)
* Flight Simulator: JFK JR Edition (MRMIdAS)
* Family Fortunes: Josef Fritzl Edition
* Guess Who?: Oriental Edition (Slider1874)
* Christiano Ronaldo Racing Simulator - race Edwin Van Der Sar in the tunnels of Manchester Airport (Mattowen)
* Baby P(unch) Children's Doll, with light up hit zones and bruise effects (darkhallsredfloors)
* Go For Broke: HBOS Edition (Sparkyjcs)
* Scrabble: Dyslexic Edition
* Bukkake with my daughter (PJB123)
* Buckaroo: Parkinson's Disease Edition (nic89)
* Ian Huntley bath toys (Mr.Porn)
* Dating Simulator 2009, featuring Laura Stainforth and Robert Williams (iKarp)
* Guess Who?: Prince Harry Edition (irisho)
* Woolworths Tycoon (Noremac)
* Mr Potato Head: Simon Weston Edition (Dick Gozinya)
* Flight Simulator: Colin McRae Edition (SirCrudNoodles)
* The Sympathetic Sickipedian (Solid_Justice)
* Christopher Reeve Dance Mat (Perry:D)
* Thalidomide DJ Kit
* Kerplunk: Haemmorrhoids Edition (Diamond)
* Aussie Backpacker Fireproof Underwear (geebee)
* Bradford Safaris (geebee)
* Shhh, Don't Wake Dad: Josef Fritzl Edition (LittleLeeHere)
* Articulate: Stutterer Edition, complete with a 15 minute hourglass (TI)
* Truth or Dare?: Blair and Bush Edition (Colio)
* Kerplunk : Francesca Anobile Edition (Richard Head)
* Where's Wally: Maddy Macann Edition (Ken-Ko)
* Top Trumps - My Old Nan vs The Dog Edition (Dick Gozinya)
* Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman's Home Chemistry Set - (james_c27)
* Hungry Hungry Ethiopians - (piglover)
* Mr Pop - Suicide Bomber edition (pally76)
* Christopher Reeve Buckaroo (pally76)
*Rihanna: All the hits(westendlad)
*Fallout 4: The Gaza strip edition(westendlad)
*Hangman: Mark Speight edition (DeanLegend)
*Hide & Seek: Shannon Mathews Edition (jimmyjoker)
*Articulate: Gareth Gates Edition (jimmyjoker)
*I went to market...: Terry Pratchet Edition (jimmyjoker)
*Connect 4: Max Mosley Edition (jimmyjoker)
*tekken : chris brown edition
*Theme Hospital: Howard Shipman edition
*Beauty Kit: Jade Goody Edition
*Risk: Northern Rock Edition
*Scrabble: Dyslexic Edition
*Topple: World Trade Centre Edition (Loolzen)
*Mrs Potato Head: Connie Culp Edition (albinobob123)

And some rejected ideas:

* Call of Duty 6: French Edition
** Nothing would happen because they wouldn't turn-up. More of an adventure game. (TRS)
* Monopoly: Australian Edition
** A nice idea, but it's out of the window now.
*

Sweating like...
a Sri lankian on a tour bus
a Sickipedian Watching Grange Hill
a paedo in a playground
a fat man at a buffet
a nun at a cucumber stall
Gary Glitter in Mothercare
a fat bird at a disco
Mel Gibson at a Bar Mitzvah
a Muslim at passport control
a blind lesbian in a fish market/sushi bar
a nigger on a rape charge
Vanessa Feltz on a treadmill
Michael Barrymore at a pool party
a Scouser in [...]

Sweating like...
a Sri lankian on a tour bus
a Sickipedian Watching Grange Hill
a paedo in a playground
a fat man at a buffet
a nun at a cucumber stall
Gary Glitter in Mothercare
a fat bird at a disco
Mel Gibson at a Bar Mitzvah
a Muslim at passport control
a blind lesbian in a fish market/sushi bar
a nigger on a rape charge
Vanessa Feltz on a treadmill
Michael Barrymore at a pool party
a Scouser in Dixons
a gerbil in a gay bar
a fat kid in a sweet shop
a dyslexic on Countdown
a pregnant nun
a Geordie in a job centre
a dog outside a Chinese restaurant
a priest at a boy-scout meeting
Fred West's babysitter
Michael Jackson on a bouncy castle
Hitler at a Bar Mitzvah
a Scouser watching Crimewatch
a necrophiliac in a mortuary
a Priest Watching CBBC
a Necrophiliac at a funeral
an American on Sickipedia
Jade Goody's stylist
Jade Goody trying to buy life insurance
an American at a dietitian
a racist in Bradford
a Jew in a shower
a coon at a Klan Rally
a Scotsman at a charity fund raiser
Jock Stein at a boy's club
Bill Clinton at a feminist meeting
a Brazilian on a tube train
a Jew in a tax office
a gypsy in a room full of spoons
a Jew at a half price bacon sale
an Obama at an inauguration
a Jew in 1940
a black worker in a recession
a rhino in a power shower
an emo in a knife factory
a Yank in an exam
Holly and Jessica at a caretaker's house
a yank in a tower
Peter Sutcliffe in a red light district
a fat bird on E
Gary Glitter's travel agent
Shannon at a family gathering
a white man in London
a car windscreen in Liverpool
Ian Huntley at bath time
Francesca speeding down a hill on a makeshift sledge
an African child whose village is being visited by Madonna
a ginger at a party
a kid with a weekend invite to Neverland
Jerry McCann in a game of Cluedo
an undertaker visiting a cancer ward
me after posting a joke
Benitez at a press conference
a ticking Muslim
an Arab taking flying lessons
a Scouser in a terraced stand
a white guy eating a Milky Bar
an epileptic watching a strobe light
a fat cunt
a Scouser at a job interview
Jack Tweedy on his wedding night
Micheal Jackson's baby shower
a paedo in Mothercare
a man wearing leather trousers
your mum when i come over for tea
a white guy in Bradford
dad when my sisters pregnant
a fat cunt in Gregg's
your daughter when I come knocking
Anne Frank when she plays her drums
a blonde on a stuck escalator
Lee Bowyer in a mosque
Wayne Rooney in an old folks home
a Jew in Hitler's house
a doctor on his way to Glasgow Airport
Lee Evans
an Austrian girl in her dad's basement
Madeleine McCann in Portugal
Muhammad Ali in a buckaroo competition
a paedo in a peter pan production
a paedo during WWII who's just found out he's going to be looking after some evacuees
a RBS employee sticking some paper through a shredder
Michael Jackson in a nursery
Joseph Fritzl at a family reunion
a blind poof in a sausage factory
an American
an Aussie at a bush fire
Dwain Chambers at a drugs testing
Simon Weston at a barbecue
Michael Hutchence in an Australian hotel room
Jamie Bulger's mum in a shopping centre
a hooker in Ipswich
Chris Brown on an assault charge
a naked boy with a catholic priest
a hair on my gooch
a Paki bastard
a black man watching Crimewatch
a Drug Dealer in a Chemist
Michael J Fox playing Operation
Jill Dando with a gun against her head
a dog in Chinatown
my dick when CBBC comes on the TV
Rihanna when she hears, "Honey, I'm home!"
a small girl when faced with a large dangerous hill and a sheet of metal
a Swede in a STI clinic
a Brit in AA
a Frenchie in a shower
a Swiss with a Machine that could destroy the fucking planet
a Canadian near a seal
a Dutchman in Rehab
a fat girl's pussy
a Women in a car
a Gay in America
a farmer in the wake of a foot and mouth break out
Harold Shipman in a retirement home
Barack Obama In Alabama
Gazza at Happy Hour
a hooded rapist
a gardener who's hired a spade
a Prostitute in Ipswich
an arm pit
ian huntly at a man u game
Stephen Hawking with the runs
a nigger on a rape charge