Age Jokes

An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000," the jeweller said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by cheque. "I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very pissed-off jeweller phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
I'd just moved into my new house and got talking to this fit blonde who I noticed standing in the garden next door. She told me she was busy painting and I offered to help while she went down to the shop to get more supplies.

When she was gone, I took the opportunity to raid her knicker drawers (like you fuckin' wouldn't) and found loads of saucy underwear, a huge dildo, anal beads and all sorts of pleasurable gadgets. I couldn't resist a lick, sniff and a quick wank.

I finished up and got painting just in time as she walked in with a huge smile on her face and gave me a hug. I asked her what that was for... and she said, "Thank you, my grandparents are gonna be thrilled!"
According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the oldest recorded mother is a 66 year old Romanian woman.
My mother is 74. Top that!