Having just met my blind date in the pub, I brought her a drink and, as we sat down, some jive music came on the jukebox.

She said, "There is something about the jive I find sexy."

So, to impress her, I waved my arms about doing the hand jive. She moaned that she was getting wet.

I said, "Am I turning you on?"

"No, you still have your fucking pint in your hand."
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