Children Jokes

I was in the shop today, and there was a little boy crying because he wanted some chocolate buttons.

"I haven't got enough money," his mother said to him.

"I've got some spare change on me, I'll buy them," I said to her.

"Are you sure about that?," she said.

"Of course," I replied, "I haven't had chocolate buttons in ages, so it'll be a nice treat for me."
I was in bed with my girlfriend, last night, having quite a pleasurable dream when I accidentally sighed "Ohhhh, Lucy!" in my sleep.

My girlfriend immediately turned the light on and started screaming at me. "Who the fuck is Lucy?! Is she one of those sluts from your office?! I knew you were cheating on me, you cunt!"

I sleepily replied, "No.. err... you don't understand. I was having a dream where me and you got married, and we lived in this big house together and we had a beautiful baby daughter called Lucy."

"Aww that's so swee-"

"And then I made her suck my dick."
A teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

“All right, children, let's take an example,” she said. “If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?”

A little boy raises his hand and, with a confident smile, says, “You'd be his wife.”