Dating Jokes

You were a beautiful blonde sitting across from me on the delayed 11.42 Manchester to London train (15/11/09), you had caught my eye on the platform laughing wearing a pink backpack and a gold headband.
We exchanged glances several times and I was finding it hard not to stare, I wanted to talk to you and hoped we could swap details I just lost my nerve and before I knew it we'd arrived and you were disappearing into St Pancras Underground.
I know it's a long shot but if you see this please get in touch, I'd love it if we could meet up sometime.

PS I've got your colouring book, you left it on the train.
I went on a date this evening.

I said, "So, are you a vampire?"

"No," she said, with a puzzled look on her face.

I said, "So you can see your reflection and you still come out looking like that?"
During a rape, exactly what is an acceptable amount of time a woman should leave between shouting "Don't", and crying "Stop", before it becomes "Don't stop", and therefore consensual?