Ejaculation Jokes

"I'm going to the doctor," says Mary.

"Why, what's wrong?" asks her best friend Sara.

"I want to ask him how many calories there really are in sperm."

Sara says, "Why worry? If you're swallowing that much, no man is going to care if you're a bit chubby."
E mail from girl at work to whole company:

I have lost my silver bangle. If anybody comes across it anywhere, it’s mine.

E mail back from me:

I came across a silver bangle in the gent’s toilet. I didn’t mean to but my afternoon wank always produces a hefty wad that’s sometimes hard to control. It’s yours.

I hit reply all by mistake and have an appointment with HR in an hour.