Flirting Jokes

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look alright."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
I fucked up a decent chance of sex last night.

I was chatting up a girl in a bar. Things were going well, so I asked her if she'd like to go back to my place.

She said, "My head says no, but my heart says yes..."

I said, "Okay, let's make it best out of three. What does your cunt say?"
I yelled "Hey there, pretty thing!" to a girl I saw across the street.

She stormed up to me, and said "I'M NOT A THING!"

I looked her up and down, and said "Yeah, and from up close, you're not all that pretty either."
A beautiful woman came up to me in a club and said, "I'm looking for a man to give me a good hard fuck"
I smiled and said, "I think I may be able to help you"
She winked at me and said, "Oh really?
I said, "Yeah, I just saw a bloke at the urinal. Massive cock. Let's see if we can find him"
I was chatting to a girl in a bar when she noticed a bulging erection in my pants.

"Sorry about that," I said. "I just find the Irish accent an incredible turn on. What's your name, by the way?"

"Svetlana," she replied. "And yours?"

"Paddy."