Penis Jokes

Three gay men are in an internet chatroom bragging about the size of their dicks.

White guy: "My dick is so big I have to drop my trousers to take it out"

Black guy: "That's nothing, my dick is so big I can turn my monitor on and off with it while I'm sat in my chair"

Indian guy: "Well my dick is so big that if I laid it out on my keyboard it would stretch all the way from A-Z."

"Wait...shit!"
Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection.

"What's that, Mummy?" asks the child.
"Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on.

A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?"
"That, son, is the elephant's penis."
"Mummy said it was nothing."
"Your mother's spoiled, Son!"
I used to hate P.E at school. I had a pretty big cock and was embarrassed to take the group shower afterward.

All the other girls just pointed and laughed.
Herb decided to propose to Sandi , but prior to her acceptance Sandi had to confess to her man about her childhood illness.

She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her sooo much.

However, Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he had a deformity too. Herb looked Sandi in the eyes and said...

"I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married."

She said, "Yes, I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis."

Sandi and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon.

Herb whisked Sandi off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another... As Sandi put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room!

Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.

She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!"

"Yes, it is..." exclaimed Herb, "8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long."