Premature Ejaculation Jokes

I met a girl in the pub. We chatted and got drunk and I ended up at hers.

"Listen," I said, "I'm not very experienced and, when I'm with a girl for the first time, I do suffer from a bit of premature ejaculation."

"Well, we can take it slow, babe," she winked. "How premature?"

"Remember earlier in the pub, when you asked me about sex?"

"Yeah?"

"Then."
I had just made myself a nice cup of tea and sat down when my wife came in, pulled her clothes off and said, "Fuck me right now." So I fucked her right there on the sofa, having the best sex of my life.

After we'd finished, she lay in my arms and said, "Don't forget your cup of tea".

"I'll just let it cool down, it's still too hot," I said
Just before shagging a Brazilian girl who'd singled me out in a bar, I asked her why, of all the other guys there, she'd chosen me.
"You were the only one in a England shirt," she explained. "I wanted to make love to someone who came from the home of football."
"Well, we might have invented it," I replied, as I slipped her panties off, "But we're shit at it now."

About 90 seconds later she asked, "Your lot didn't invent sex as well, by any chance?"