Pubes Jokes

A little girl goes into a barber's shop and stands next to the chair eating a cake.

"You'll get hair on your muffin," the barber tells the girl.

"Yes," she replies, "I'll get tits too!"
A middle aged man and his wife live in a poor part of town and decide to rent out their second bedroom. They advertise and a beautiful young girl enquires about the room. The wife explains that, because it is such an old terraced house, there is no bath in the house so instead they use a big zinc bath in front of the fire in the living room.
The young girl says, "It would be nice to have a bath in front of the open fire at night, but what about your husband?"
The wife replies, "If you have a bath on a Monday or a Friday evening, it will be fine because he always goes out to play darts from about 7 o'clock till after 11pm."
"Okay!" the girl says.
The next night is a Monday so the husband goes out and the wife brings in the zinc bath for the young lady and puts it in front of the fire. When the young lady undresses to get in the bath she notices the wife staring at her naked body. The wife thinks to herself that it's strange that the girl has no pubic hairs.
Later that night when the wife goes to bed she tells her husband about the young lady having no pubic hair.
"It must look very strange and unnatural, are you sure?" says the husband.
The wife says, "I could leave the leave the curtains open just a little bit at the top so that you could peep through and see for your self next time she has a bath."
So the following Friday they get the bath out and the husband goes out to his darts match. The young lady gets undressed and the wife asks, "Where's your pubes love?"
The girl says "Pubes? I've never grown any."
So the wife pulls her knickers down revealing a big bushy fanny with clock springs hanging out and says, "Here, this is what you should have!"
Later that night in bed she is talking to her husband, who seems pissed off, and he says to his wife, "She was lovely, but why on earth did you lift your skirt up and show your minge?"
The wife says, "You must have seen me naked a thousand times, why are you bothered?"
The bloke says, "I have, but the rest of the fucking darts team hadn't."
My daughter came home from school after doing hockey in P.E. and went upstairs to run a shower.
I noticed she had quite a nasty gash.

After having a quiet word with my wife, we've decided to book her in for a wax.
One day little Johnny needed to use the bathroom really bad, so he rushed on in. At the same time his mom was getting out of the shower, and he looked down to see her hairy bush. Little Johnny pointed and asked "What is that?"
The mom thought for a second and replied "That's my ummmmm, black sponge." Johnny was satisfied with this answer, used the bathroom, and left.
The next day the mother was washing the dishes when little Johnny came running up to her, "Mommy mommy can I see your black sponge again?"
Thrown off by this the mother replied "Ummmm no, I lost it just a little while ago." Little Johnny was again satisfied with this answer and went out to play.
About an hour later little Johnny came running back into the house screaming, "Mommy mommy, I found your black sponge!"
The mother was shocked and replied, " Really... where?"
Little Johnny pointed outside and said, "Mrs. Johnson the next door neighbour lady is cleaning Daddy's face with it!"