STD Jokes

I was reading the latest copy of Nuts magazine earlier and I read one of the 'Ladies confess' articles sent in by Jade from Southampton (we won't worry about keeping identities hidden).

Basically herself and a friend are out shopping and they notice a fit lad working the changing rooms so they drag him in with them (it's late and the store is empty). The girls start kissing, rubbing each other etc. Basically Jade and her friend are a pair of slags but to try and redeem herself and her inability to keep her knickers on she says, "I bent over and, after slipping on a Johnnie, he entered me while I touched up my friend."

Bollocks! You Jade, are a filthy whore and your friend is just as fucking bad. There was no condom involved and because of you I lost my job, I got the clap and eventually a slap from my now ex-girlfriend and subsequently dumped. I'm glad your story didn't win the £50 prize. Cunt.

Mike, Southampton.
I went to an STD clinic the other day and all the girls in the waiting room looked filthy!

I thought to myself, "I wish my girlfriend was as dirty as some of these girls".

Then I remembered, she was, and that's why I was here.