My wife sent me a text today which said:

"I bought something special today and I think you will like it. I won't say what it is but I'll give you some hints, it's going to be hot, juicy and wrapped in black rubber, you rarely get it and it will be on the kitchen table when you get home."

When I'd finished work I raced home, ran into the kitchen and there was my wife on the kitchen table wearing a black, rubber, crotchless cat suit.

All I could say was "Well where's my black pudding?"
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