What's the difference between red and green?
Fuck all, apparently, if you're a cyclist.
If you want to know why the Brits are so good at cycling....
Then just take a look at the cost of public transport.
I've finally accomplished my dream of winning the same amount of Tours De France as Lance Armstrong.
I'm no Tour de France expert but it seems that the best way to win is to wear a yellow t-shirt
Lance Armstrong has denied ever using drugs, but he has admitted pedalling.
My uncle works for a company that makes bicycle wheels
He's the Spokesman.
I'll put my hands up and admit it - I've been behaving like a self-righteous fucking cunt all day.
Or 'cycling' as it's more commonly known.
I was telling my mate how Bradley Wiggins winning the Tour de France has revolutionised my business.
"Do you sell bikes then?" he asked.
"No, joke sideburns."
Tour de France live on TV? I don't think so.
If I wanted to watch drug addicts riding a bike I'd download Pamela Andersons honeymoon videos...
We're really getting into the swing of this Tour de France thing now, for le grande depart, up here in Yorkshire. So much so that we've re-named some of the towns en route with their french translation.
Harrogate has become "Harroporte", Sheffield has become "Sheffdomaine" and Bradford is now "le Petit Pakistan". 13