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Jokes under Wife

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Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by geemack in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 3438.6


A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!"

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, "Quick! Bring me another beer! It's gonna start!"

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "Quickly! Another beer! It's gonna start any second!"< [...]

 I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by ht in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 2558.4


A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His wife is lying in bed reading.
The man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
His wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
The man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by sickfuck in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 2486.4


I was shagging the wife last night and, after cumming for the second time, I rolled over.

My wife was not impressed and said, "how about finishing me off now?"

So I smothered her with my pillow. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by bawbag in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 2083.2


My wife has always proclaimed that there is nothing more painful than childbirth.

Clearly never trodden on a plug in the middle of the night then! 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by brightonperson in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1794.2


My wife and her friend were having a conversation about how useless men are when my wife said, "They can't do two things at once."

At this, I interrupted and said, "Actually I can!"

"Give me an example," she replied.

"Well, while I was fucking you last night, I was thinking about your friend." 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by tony.t in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 939.8


Me and the wife were trying role-play in the bedroom last night.

She walked out in a huff after 30 seconds.

Apparently, asking your wife to pretend to be your daughter isn't very sexy. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Guest in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 820.8


My wife accused me of being self-important.

I nearly fell off my throne. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Roll Fizzlebeef in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 2 more) - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 708.8


Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!"

I sent her my ironing, that'll keep the bitch busy. 		I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by zip in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 537


Has any one else left for work at six in the morning, while the missus is still in bed, got home at six in the evening, to find her sat on the sofa with a cup of tea, and had to listen to her tell the story of her day and why SHE is so tired? I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by Tinpotbob in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 527.8



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