Jokes under Other > Stupid
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Dear Walkers Crisps, Your crisps are really tasty. When will you be making a full bag? |
 
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My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. |
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Joke
by haveallthemaddieusernamesgone? in Other - Irony (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 2,333
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My mate just said to me, "If you became invisible, what would you do first?" I said, "I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death; the round of applause he'd get would be astounding." |
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I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'. You probably saw our posters. |
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Joke
submitted by chubbybrown, originally by Hal Stewart in Other - Stupid - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago - Current Score: 1,658.4
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I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my cock and said, "Yours or mine?" I said, "That's mine." |
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I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, "I can't believe how intoxicated you are." Denying it I said, "I'm not drunk." She said, "Yes you are." I said, "No I'm fucking not." She said, "Can you tell the time?" I walked up to the clock and said, "I'm not fucking drunk." |
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Joke
by mg1 in Illness and mortality - Alcohol And Drugs (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,500
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I left my phone at home this morning, I've just nipped home at lunchtime to pick it up and my wife had sent me a text at 9:38am saying: "Hi hun, you've left your phone in the kitchen" What the fuck am I still doing with this woman? |
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Joke
by thewhackcat in Sex and shit - Sexism (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 1,497.8
| Just finished reading the fifth book in the "learning to count" trilogy. |
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Joke
submitted by Wylieeeeee, originally by @parkerbats in Other - Stupid - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 1,493.2
| Fool people into thinking you've been to Madame Tussauds by having your photo taken with various celebrities. |
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Joke
submitted by pedroflaps, originally by Viz Toptips in Other - Stupid - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,476.6
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I remember being told that everytime you shave it off, it grows back thicker. Can't wait to see my new cock. |
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