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Jokes under Sex and shit > Girlfriend

53464
This is for you, Sarah:

Why do you condemn Sickipedia and say it is only sick and twisted people who post jokes here, yet drink Lambrini and laugh hysterically at equally offensive jokes on 'Mock the Week' when your friends are round the flat?

You are a total cunt. Pack your bags tonight and fuck off. It's over.
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Joke by Gash TL in Sex and shit - Girlfriend (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 10,482.8


34702
My girlfriend left me for a midget the other day.

This broke my heart - I couldn't believe she would stoop so low.
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Joke by dstar in Sex and shit - Girlfriend - Added: 3 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 3,332.4


82321
I found out by accident last night that my girlfriend is adopted.

We were in bed together and I'm shouting, "Who's the daddy, Who's the daddy?"

"I don't know!" she replied, "There's an agency looking for him but they don't have any clues."
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Joke by MICK THE MAG in Sex and shit - Girlfriend - Added: 3 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 2,749


2861
How do you make your girlfriend cry while you are having sex?

Phone her up and tell her about it!
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Joke by sick puppy in Sex and shit - Girlfriend - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 2,212.2


970375
When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face.
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Joke by Biscuit777 in Other - Wordplay (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 2,085.2


909490
My girlfriend said that I'm too immature for her.

I said "If I'm immature, how come I've got an Arsfor?"

She said "What's an Arsfor?"

"Shitting." I said, and giggled for 20 minutes.
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Joke by woollard in Sex and shit - Girlfriend (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1,824.2


126755
I was having a row with my girlfriend last night and she accused me of being childish.

What does she know? She's just a stinky poo face.
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Joke by MetalDrummer in Sex and shit - Girlfriend (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,425.8


67853
I took my girlfriend round to see my family today.

My wife went fucking mental.
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Joke by max the storyteller in Sex and shit - Girlfriend - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,341.8


117311
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me.

She calls me her sixty second lover.
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Joke by Deeps in Sex and shit - Girlfriend - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1,217.8


941115
My girlfriend has just left me, because apparently I don't finish normal sentences the way they are supposed to be animal porn. I like this! This is poor.  Edit this
Joke by aidanosull in Sex and shit - Girlfriend (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 1,202.4



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