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| After a motorway pile up the rescue services approach a car with a man in the front seat. The man is screaming and shouting. In an attempt to calm the situation one of the rescue staff says "Calm down, it could be worse. Your wife, for example, was thrown out of the front windscreen and onto the road." The man replies "Yeah! But did you see what she had in her fucking mouth?!" |    |
Joke by binso, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged blow job , accident , cock , binso - Current Score: 226 - Added: 7 months, 8 days ago
| A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours. | |
Joke by cooperman, in Celebrity and news events > congestion - Tagged lorry , truck , crash , accident , vicks , rub , congestion , walking on the moon - Current Score: 202 - Added: 10 months, 18 days ago
| Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. | |
Joke by caliban, in Celebrity and news events > Diana - Tagged diana , princess diana , cross , road , seat , belt , seat belt , seatbelt , wear , wearing , crash , car , dead , death , accident - Current Score: 197 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Two taxis have crashed in Bradford today. 450 people have been injured. Question from farcanal.com : Was the other taxi empty ? | |
Joke by hoathst, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged bradford , pakis , paki , pakistani , pakistanis , car crash , car accident , crash , accident - Current Score: 162 - Added: 1 month, 7 days ago
| My dad used to say.. "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" Until his accident... | |
Joke by AS, in Illness and mortality > Accident - Tagged accident , dead , bang , unfortunate , jimmy carr - Current Score: 158 - Added: 9 months, 18 days ago
| I'm ashamed to say I hit my wife last night. Luckily I drove off before she recognised the car. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged accident , wife - Current Score: 117 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| A policeman is patrolling when he hears a crash in the next street. He immediately runs over and sees that there has been a big car accident. The policeman scans the scene and sees the bodies of three black guys, one of them is by the side of the car with one of the wing mirrors broken off next to him, one of them has gone through the windscreen, and the other has been hit with such force that his body is lying halfway down the street. The policeman approaches the driver of the car and asks him, "What on earth happened?" The driver explains to the police officer, "Well, officer, I was driving along when all of a sudden these guys run out of nowhere. I tried to swerve to avoid them but I was too late." The policeman scans the scene a bit more and asks the driver "Is that really what happened?" The driver confesses "I'm sorry officer, no that's not quite how it happened, I was taking a call on my mobile and I was so focused on the road that I didn't see that I was drifting onto the pavement, by the time I saw I was about to hit these guys I didn't have time to swerve out the way" The policeman narrows his eyes and asks the driver, "I can't see a mobile phone anywhere... are you telling me the truth?" The driver sighs and says, "Okay, officer, I'll tell you the truth: I was driving along when I saw these black bastards, so I sped up, and ran them over before they could get out my way!" "Right," says the policeman, "I'll do that one for criminal damage, that one for breaking and entering and that one for leaving the scene of a crime." | |
Joke by immortalshadow666, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged blacks , racism , police , accident , car - Current Score: 86 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A man was walking down the street, when suddenly he was hit by a car. A policeman that attended the scene said to the injured man, " Did you get a look at the driver?" "No. " said the man, "but I can tell you it was my wife." "How's that ?"asked the policeman. And the man said, " I'd recognise her laugh anywhere." | |
Joke by pottyonetoo, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged police , accident , laugh , wife - Current Score: 82 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| My brother got hit by a bus and had both of his legs amputated. Now he's my Half-Brother. | |
Joke by MRMIdAS, in Illness and mortality > Accident - Tagged brother , legs , accident - Current Score: 65 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Gordon Brown is out jogging and accidentally falls into a very cold river. Three boys see the accident. Without a second thought,they jump into the water and drag out the soaking wet brown. Brown says "boys,you saved my life and deserve a reward,you name it and i'll give it to you". The first boy says "I'd like a holiday to disneyland" Brown says "certainly" The second boy says "I'd like an MP3 player" Brown says "No problem" The third boy says "And i'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it" Brown says "But you're not handicapped." The boy replies "No,but i will be when my dad finds out i saved you from drowning!" | |
Joke by cooperman, in Celebrity and news events > Gordon Brown - Tagged gordon brown , accident , handicapped - Current Score: 59 - Added: 1 year ago
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