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| I told the wife I was going to get her diamonds for Christmas. She said nothing would please her more. So I'm getting her nothing instead. |    |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged gift , joke , cunt , all , twats , fuck all , slag , bitch , whore , everything - Current Score: 77 - Added: 10 months ago
| A judge asks a surly defendant if he has anything to say for himself. The defendant mutters, "fuck all." "What did you say?" asks the judge. The court clerk turns to the judge and says, "the defendant said, 'fuck all', your honour." "Really?" replies the judge, "I could have sworn I saw his lips move." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Jokes with no home > Court - Tagged court , without a home , judge , swearing , cunt , fuckers , lawyers , all , twats , legal - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year ago
| Did you know that 50% of all rapes go unreported? I like those odds. | |
Joke by frobo666, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , sex , shit , 50 , of , all , rapes , unreported - Current Score: 22 - Added: 6 days ago
| If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Sex and shit > Panties - Tagged pickpockets , sex , all , no - Current Score: 17 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Kate Moss and Jeremy Clarkson are at a celebrity do. She says "I'm a model, what do you do?" He replies "I do Top Gear." She said "Wicked! I'll have an eighth." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Kate Moss - Tagged death , fucked , smackheads , cunts , a listers , z listers , junkies , tv , all , drugs - Current Score: 15 - Added: 10 months ago
| Teacher asks the class to go home and come back Monday with a story that has a moral to it. Come Monday morning the teacher asks for anyone with a story to put their hand up. Little Johnny's hand is first up but the teacher ignores him and points to Jane and says "Tell us your story, Jane" "Well miss I went to my nan's farm and in the morning I collected all the eggs in a basket. When i got into the house some had broken, the moral to the story being don't gather all your eggs in one basket" "Very good" teacher says. Little Johnny is turning red with frustration but the teacher asks David for his story. "Well miss, I to went to my nanny's and when i got there she had a toy soldier i had been waiting for for weeks,the moral being good things come to those who wait" "Very good" teacher says. She knows Johnny isn't going to give up so she lets him tell his story. "Well miss I like the others went to my Grandad's and he told me that he was a desert rat in the war and he got lost and was surrounded by 15 Germans. He only had 6 bullets, his bayonet and a bottle of whiskey, so he drank the whiskey, shot 6 Germans and bayoneted the rest to death. At this Johnny sat down and teacher asks "What is the moral to your story, Johnny?" Johnny jumps up and says "The moral is don't fuck with my grandad when he's pissed". | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Little Johnny - Tagged germans , war , death , fighting , krauts , cunts , fuckers , pricks , morals , all , sex and shit - Current Score: 12 - Added: 10 months ago
| To help us to try and understand their way of life and religion a little better the Muslim community have released a range of books, titles include- Finding a job by Asif. D.I.Y For Beginners by Mahroof Isfukd. Why We Inbreed by Shahag Masista. Simple Curry Cooking by Ahmed Astink and my personal favourite -Love your White Brother by Shahoot Dhakunt. | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged why , dont , they , all , just , fuck , blow , each , up - Current Score: 10 - Added: 6 months, 30 days ago
| The All Blacks have a new bra. It has lots of support but no cup | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Bra - Tagged all , blacks , bra - Current Score: 8 - Added: 10 months ago
| In a recent interview Lisa Marie Presley was asked why she had divorced Michael Jackson? "Well," she replied "I knew it was over when I told him I wanted to have kids and he said he already had." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged sick , all , community , michael jackson , jacko , peadophile - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 year ago
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