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| Kate Moss and Jeremy Clarkson are at a celebrity do. She says "I'm a model, what do you do?" He replies "I do Top Gear." She said "Wicked! I'll have an eighth." |    |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Kate Moss - Tagged death , fucked , smackheads , cunts , a listers , z listers , junkies , tv , all , drugs - Current Score: 103 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I told the wife I was going to get her diamonds for Christmas. She said nothing would please her more. So I'm getting her nothing instead. | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged gift , joke , cunt , all , twats , fuck all , slag , bitch , whore , everything - Current Score: 96 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A judge asks a surly defendant if he has anything to say for himself. The defendant mutters, "fuck all." "What did you say?" asks the judge. The court clerk turns to the judge and says, "the defendant said, 'fuck all', your honour." "Really?" replies the judge, "I could have sworn I saw his lips move." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Jokes with no home > Court - Tagged court , without a home , judge , swearing , cunt , fuckers , lawyers , all , twats , legal - Current Score: 87 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Jon Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock(MADE IN JAPAN) for 6am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG ). He put on a clean shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA ), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE ) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA ) After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA ) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN ) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA ) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with petrol (from SAUDI ARABIA ) He then spent the rest of the day at the job centre, wondering why he couldn't get a fucking job in England! | |
Joke by garnerlives, in Jokes with no home > England - Tagged shit , life , in , shitty , england , fucking , outsource , all , our , jobs , bastards - Current Score: 79 - Added: 22 hours ago
| If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Sex and shit > Panties - Tagged pickpockets , sex , all , no - Current Score: 18 - Added: 5 months ago
| I said to the young girl serving in Woolworths today, "If this doesn't fit, can i bring it back after christmas"? Will not shop there ever again. | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Celebrity and news events > Woolworths - Tagged woolworths , girl , xmas , happy , to , you , all , you , sick , bastards - Current Score: 13 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| A class was given some homework. They have to write an essay on what they would do if they had won a fortune on the Lottery. The next day, while the homework was being handed in, a lad gives the teacher a blank piece of paper. "Whats this?" asks the teacher, "your essay was meant to say what you would do if you won the lottery." "It explains exactly," he replied, "I'd do absolutely fuck all." | |
Joke by EdgarBriggs, in Jokes with no home > Lottery - Tagged lottery , homework , essay , fuck , all - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 month ago
| In a recent interview Lisa Marie Presley was asked why she had divorced Michael Jackson? "Well," she replied "I knew it was over when I told him I wanted to have kids and he said he already had." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged sick , all , community , michael jackson , jacko , peadophile - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| The All Blacks have a new bra. It has lots of support but no cup | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Bra - Tagged all , blacks , bra - Current Score: 6 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A recent survey of male sexual practices revealed that after intercourse: Twenty percent rolled over and had a cigarette. Two percent washed. Three percent went to the refrigerator for a snack. Seventy-five percent got up, dressed, and went home. | |
Joke by Sicki_Sims, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged lol , unlucky , chicks , ur , husband , cheatin , on , ya , all - Current Score: 4 - Added: 2 months ago
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