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| Kate Moss and Jeremy Clarkson are at a celebrity do. She says "I'm a model, what do you do?" He replies "I do Top Gear." She said "Wicked! I'll have an eighth." |    |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Kate Moss - Tagged death , fucked , smackheads , cunts , a listers , z listers , junkies , tv , all , drugs - Current Score: 100 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I told the wife I was going to get her diamonds for Christmas. She said nothing would please her more. So I'm getting her nothing instead. | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged gift , joke , cunt , all , twats , fuck all , slag , bitch , whore , everything - Current Score: 91 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A judge asks a surly defendant if he has anything to say for himself. The defendant mutters, "fuck all." "What did you say?" asks the judge. The court clerk turns to the judge and says, "the defendant said, 'fuck all', your honour." "Really?" replies the judge, "I could have sworn I saw his lips move." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Jokes with no home > Court - Tagged court , without a home , judge , swearing , cunt , fuckers , lawyers , all , twats , legal - Current Score: 82 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Sex and shit > Panties - Tagged pickpockets , sex , all , no - Current Score: 17 - Added: 3 months ago
| Teacher asks the class to go home and come back on Monday with a story that has a moral to it. Come Monday morning, the teacher asks for anyone with a story to put their hand up. Little Johnny's hand is first up but the teacher ignores him and points to Jane and says, "tell us your story, Jane" "Well, miss, I went to my nan's farm and in the morning I collected all the eggs in a basket. When I got into the house some had broken, the moral to the story being: don't gather all your eggs in one basket." "Very good," teacher says. Little Johnny is turning red with frustration but the teacher asks David for his story. "Well, miss, I to went to my nanny's and when I got there she had a toy soldier I had been waiting for for weeks, the moral being: good things come to those who wait." "Very good," teacher says. She knows Johnny isn't going to give up so she lets him tell his story. "Well, miss, I, like the others, went to my Grandad's and he told me that he was a desert rat in the war and he got lost and was surrounded by fifteen Germans. He only had six bullets, his bayonet and a bottle of whiskey; so he drank the whiskey, shot six Germans and bayoneted the rest to death." At this Johnny sat down and the teacher asks, "what is the moral to your story, Johnny?" Johnny jumps up and says, "the moral is: don't fuck with my grandad when he's pissed." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged germans , war , death , fighting , krauts , cunts , fuckers , pricks , morals , all , sex and shit - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| In a recent interview Lisa Marie Presley was asked why she had divorced Michael Jackson? "Well," she replied "I knew it was over when I told him I wanted to have kids and he said he already had." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged sick , all , community , michael jackson , jacko , peadophile - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| The All Blacks have a new bra. It has lots of support but no cup | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Bra - Tagged all , blacks , bra - Current Score: 6 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A recent survey of male sexual practices revealed that after intercourse: Twenty percent rolled over and had a cigarette. Two percent washed. Three percent went to the refrigerator for a snack. Seventy-five percent got up, dressed, and went home. | |
Joke by Sicki_Sims, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged lol , unlucky , chicks , ur , husband , cheatin , on , ya , all - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 week ago
| How many Nymphomaniacs does it take to change a light bulb? Fuck All | |
Joke by adzrules, in Jokes with no home > Lightbulb - Tagged nymphomaniac , fuck , all , sex , lightbulb - Current Score: -2 - Added: 2 weeks ago
Duplicate got buried to -6. Reveal Joke
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