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| A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread." Duck says: "Got any bread" Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf? We haven't got any fucking bread. Ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar, you irritating bastard bird!" Duck says: "Got any nails?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" |    |
Joke by kitkat456, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged duck , bread , pub , bar , animal , nail - Current Score: 217 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| This scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to canada. After a hard day on the slopes he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about 5 or 6 whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal antlers on the wall with. He asks the barman "What the fuck is that?" The barman says "It's a Moose" The scottish chap says "Fuck me! How big are the cats!? | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged moose , cat , canada , scottish , mountain , bar , whiskey , animal , antler - Current Score: 201 - Added: 5 months ago
| I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. | |
Joke by issachunt, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged animal , testing , experiment - Current Score: 70 - Added: 10 months ago
| For thousands of years human beings have milked cows, and consumed the milk. It just makes you wonder- who actually discovered that cows could be milked- and what was he TRYING to do? | |
Joke by twayne, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged milk , cow , animal , sex , wank - Current Score: 43 - Added: 3 months, 15 days ago
| Some "Save the Earth" type collector came up to me asking for a donation - "Please sir, in 100 years time the African Elephant will be extinct!" I replied, "so will I, but you don't see me asking them for money." | |
Joke by erniehill, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged extinct , death , animal , animals , elephant , money , african - Current Score: 25 - Added: 3 months, 7 days ago
| A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?" "Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?" "Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?" "And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?" "Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but what's the point?" "Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?" | |
Joke by Grunge Pixie, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged animal , reporter , farm , farmer , cows - Current Score: 15 - Added: 9 months ago
| A White Horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Here mate, we've got a drink named after you!" The horse says, "What, Steve?" | |
Joke by RossMcG, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged horse , animal , bar , drink , pub - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Why are people so opposed to these half-human, half-animal embryos at the moment? Karen Matthews gave birth to Shannon and no one's complaining about her! | |
Joke by grammer_natzee, in Sex and shit > Babies - Tagged karen , shannon , matthews , embryo , human , animal - Current Score: 9 - Added: 5 months, 23 days ago
| What 's the difference between chavs and animals? (V2) There's a heaven for animals | |
Joke by haz, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged chavs , animal , heaven - Current Score: 8 - Added: 6 months, 14 days ago
| How do you get two whales in a car? Down the M4. | |
Joke by BarryConlonsBarmyArmy, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged whales , wales , car , m4 , motorway , animals , animal - Current Score: 3 - Added: 1 year ago
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