Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| My wife said we should do something different on our anniversary this year. No idea what she did, but I got a soapy tit wank off her best friend. |    |
Joke by ItchyAnus, in Sex and shit > Soapy Tit Wank - Tagged tit wank , anniversary , wife - Current Score: 128 - Added: 4 months ago
| I will be marking the anniversary of 9/11 in style. I'm going to fuck a pair of twins til they drop. | |
Joke by justincider, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged anniversary , style , fuck , twins - Current Score: 56 - Added: 2 months ago
| So, it was the Queen and Prince Phillip's 60th wedding anniversary not so long ago. Imagine that, a German woman married to a Greek for 60 years. She must have an arse like a broken catflap. | |
Joke by ghost, in Celebrity and news events > Queen - Tagged queen , phillip , anniversary , arse , sex , catflap , greek , german , frankie boyle - Current Score: 43 - Added: 4 months, 27 days ago
| Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering... Have you ever cheated on me?" Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..." "Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..." "Well, all right, three times..." "Three, hmmm, well when were they?" "Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start that business on your own and no bank would give you a loan... Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked..." "Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me.... So when was number two?" "Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you... Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here to do the surgery himself and then you were in good shape again..." "I can't believe it!! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life... I couldn't have a more wonderful wife... all right then, when was number three?" "Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the fishing club .... And you were ten votes short...." | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged anniversary , sex , health , affairs , cheating - Current Score: 35 - Added: 5 months ago
| Today being the Anniversary of the Glasgow Airport terror attack, you can ensure it's safe for you and your family to fly by following this simple advice: Just as the plane's about to take off, stand up and sing the Afghanistan national anthem. If anyone joins in, GET OFF THE PLANE. | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Religion and racism > Muslims - Tagged anniversary , terrorists , airport , planes - Current Score: 24 - Added: 4 months, 22 days ago
| I'm really stumped with the whole 9/11 anniversary thing. What do you get the country that thinks it's got everything? | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged americans , anniversary , america , americans - Current Score: 19 - Added: 2 months ago
| It was my 7th wedding anniversary today. Take it from me...never smash a mirror. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Marriage - Tagged wedding , anniversary , mirror - Current Score: 18 - Added: 7 months, 28 days ago
| A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia." His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you going to do for your Twenty-fifth Anniversary?" The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her." | |
Joke by maddie, in Jokes with no home > Marriage - Tagged anniversary , australia - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 month ago
| Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, ''He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems.'' So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans. A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she could walk off any ill effect by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner, and before she knew it she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. Upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her, exclaming delightedly, ''Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'' He then blindfolded her then led her to a chair at the table. Just as he was about to remove the blindfold the phone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold till he came back. Then he went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted the weight to one leg, and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelt like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk coming from a pulp mill. She took a napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping her ears turned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signed the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with the napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contently to herself, she was the picture of innocence when her husband returned. Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removes the blindfold to reveal twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a first Happy Anniversary! | |
Joke by thornado, in Jokes with no home > Farting - Tagged farting , beans , anniversary , woman - Current Score: 3 - Added: 3 days ago
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.03ms doing 11 queries and 0.09s processing. She's 1.70% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel