There are two theories to arguing with women... Neither one works

How do you start an argument with a chav? Speak.

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano." Passenger: "Sounds like he was something, huh?" Cabbie: "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out." Passenger. "Wow, some guy, ehh? Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get into them." "Passenger" Mmm, not many like that around." Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" Cabbie: "I married his widow."

I always get the last word when I argue with my wife. The last two actually: " Yes dear."

Last night my wife argued till she was blue in the face. Is making your point worth being suffocated for?

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